The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Twelve priests were about to be ordained.
The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude in a garden, while a sexy and beautiful big breasted nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell. Then all the other bells started to ring.
Two old ladies were walking over a bridge
Two old ladies were walking over a bridge when one of them says “you know, I’ve always wanted to pee off the side of a bridge like men do” So she pulled down her panties lifted her dress, sat on the railing of the bridge and relieved herself. The other old lady thought it looked like such a hoot she too pulled down her panties, lifted her dress and sat on the bridge railing. “Watch this,” she said “I’m gonna pee on that canoe down there.” Her friend looked over the edge and responded “that’s not a canoe, that’s your reflection.”
Latest made up psychiatric phenomenon
Angry Unborn Daughter Syndrome Or is it Simdrone?
The Spice Girls walked into my smoke shop today.
Me: Hello ladies, what are you looking for today? Vapes? Cigarettes? Spice girls: I wanna really really really wanna cig-ar, cigar.
A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp.
She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her the following wishes: - I want my husband to have eyes only for me - I want to be the only one in his life - I want that when he gets up in the morning I’m the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes.” The Genie then turned the lady into an IPhone 14
A midget fortune teller escaped from jail and the headlines read
Small medium at large.
What happened after Joseph found out he wasn’t the father of Jesus?
He had a Maury Christmas.
So I was taking my dog for a walk…
A guy and his wife come up and offer my dog a treat. He asks, “Does she sit?” I responded, “She’ll do anything, except for anal.” True story. I’ve been watching too much Mark Normand.