Things better not to say - random entries

What do you call a pious convection oven?
An air friar

Teacher: who is absent today?
The “absentees”: raises their hands

What happened to the Navy soldier who got caught masturbating?
He was dishonourably discharged for discharging dishonourably.

i asked a french girl if she had any fettishes
she said oui oui so i pissed all over her

where do midgets get their education?
A Miniscule

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

Rumor has it Pep Love wants to direct old school films, using old school tech…
He did sing that he is a Reel street artist.

My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my
Achilles elbow

My friend just…
Told me he wants to take over the world and install a racial hierarchy. He must be having a germanic episode

Two old cassette decks meet up for lunch. One is made by Sony, the other is a Chinese knock-off.
"Hey, I heard your owner got a new tape?" "Yeah, did you want to borrow it?" "Borrow? .. I was going to eat it."

Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To hide their bum quacks

I used to be a lifeguard at a public pool....
Until this blue kid got me fired.

Twenty years ago, my friend made a website where you compare getting high from different drugs.
It was the original trip advisor.