Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I found a lump, so my doctor friend suggested that I have one of my testicles removed.
He really takes his mashed potatoes extremely seriously.
Single daddies don’t always meet
>!But when they do, they meet Lauren Boebert!<
My family is very diverse in their sexual orientation. One fucks women, one fucks men, one fucks both...
...I just want them to fuck off.
So my girlfriend broke up with me today
She said she wants to work it out with her husband
If the search of Mar-a-logo was just a political game,
But the FBI ended up with 4 Top Secret, 3 Secret, and 3 Classified documents, does that mean they won Gin Rummy?
(work in progress. Credit of concept to Legal Eagle)
My wife and I agree that any time that your genitals are touching any part of another person, that is cheating.
Other than when the doctor gives you a blow job.
My friend recommended that I try a sensory deprivation tank but I got out after 5 minutes…..
I wasn’t really feeling it
... to Officials ...Officials are the bearers of the nation. One slower than the other.
For as inclusive as the LGBTQ2S+ community try to be...
They seem to really hate the colorblind.
Not too far in the future, humans will be capable of great things...
They have studied and learned about the universe we live in and have become masters of creation. Humanity has become so scientifically advanced, they have learned to actually talk with God. And in their talks with God, they showed him all the wonders they have created. They showed him how they take the dirt of earth and mold it and manipulate it to create life. They say, “ We are the same as you God. We have become masters of our universe and can control the balance of life and death. We can now take dirt and make new creations of life. We must be gods now, just like you are!”
God said, “Ok my children. But one last measurement of your godliness remains: CREATE YOUR OWN DIRT!
My wife told me, “If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.”
Apparently, “anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in traffic.
... during Sex ...