Things better not to say - random entries

Which jokes do people love?
Jokes that are punny.

Am I a lesbian? No, but the men are working on it.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese have collaborated in 5 films since 2002
Which means by 2027, DiCaprio will stop working with Scorsese.

what do you call an Italian zombie?
A gaba-ghoul

What do oral sex and smoking cigarettes have in common?
The flavor changes when you get to the butt.

I just finished a long article about the different myths behind Jesus’ death and resurrection.
There was a lot of ….. cross referencing.

Did you guys hear about the cows that were out in the field, smoking weed, playing poker, and drinking whiskey?
The steaks were high

Yo mama is so fat that...
She causes gravitational lensing

how do you know if the unborn baby is black?
when you pull the tampon out all the cotton is picked

i`m not naughty I am morally flexible.

I had a Russian Advent Calender this Christmas.
The trouble was, every time I opened a window, an Oligarch fell out.

What do you call a botanist that is never late?
Justin Thyme

3 boys named shut-up, manners and trouble were playing Hide and Seek
Trouble went to count, manners climbed up a tree to hide and shut-up hid in a bin. A police officer walked by and threw a banana peel in the bin and saw shut-up hiding, he said what are you doing boy. Shut-up put a finger on his mouth The officer went to the bin and asked what is your name. Shut-up sir the boy answered. What did you say said the officer, shut-up sir said the boy Angrily the officer said where is your manners. Manners is up the tree said the boy. The officer said are you looking for trouble. No said the boy, trouble is looking for me