Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
Because they didn’t have a space program
An examiner is testing a student
Examiner: Ok, so read this sentence for me *shows student a page that says ‘The man had a knife’*
Student: “The man had a kuh-nife!”
Examiner: Do you want to try that again? Remember to pay extra attention to the last word.
Student: “The man had a kuh-nife?”
The examiner lets the student leave. The entire class doesn’t recognise the silent k. He later talks to their teacher.
Examiner: Why do your students not understand this sentence???
Teacher: I don’t kuh-now!
The best part about living next to a cemetery is...
all your neighbors are quiet.
... at School ...A man walks into a bar with a small man on his shoulder
He slaps down 5 $100 dollar bills and yells "drinks for everyone". A cheer goes up. The bartender goes up and down the bar filling drinks. The little man jumps off his shoulder and runs up and down the bar kicking over all the drinks. The man shakes his head and slaps down another $500 "drinks for everyone" he says. Once again the bartender pours all the drink. The little man jumps off his shoulders and kicks over all the drinks. The man shakes his head and slaps down another $500 "drinks for everyone" he says. Just a minute buddy, the bartender says, what the hell is going on here. Well the man says, I was walking on the beach and I came across a lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared. He told me that I had three wishes. First I wished for unlimited wealth. As you can see, I have as much money as I could possible want. Second I wished for a beautiful women and she appeared, the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. Third, I wished for a 12" prick and there he is.
A man goes to see his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
If “Blue Lives” are real…
…that would mean they were Assigned Cop At Birth.
... to your Girlfriend ...A guy walks into a bar..
and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.