Things better not to say - random entries

I got a voting booth to decorate my house today
it really polls the room together

As companies continue to cut ties with Kanye West...
Compass maker INMARK has also decided to drop West from their product line, leaving users lost and confused.

Two nuclear scientists get married
She was radiant, he was glowing.

What do soviets drink
Lenin-ade

My friend ask me,"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies. My friend says "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

Caught an STI and felt sad.
Got the sympathy clap.

I lost my horse. May I ride on you?

Pannetone joke (help!)
Does anyone remember the pannetone joke where the punch line is a play on the word where it’s said as “(throw a) pan at Tony”? I’ve tried to find it on Google but all that comes up is stuff about the Sopranos.

On the one hundredth day of school, students are supposed to bring one hundred items.
Some brought pencils, some brought pens, some brought cards, others brought brain cells

[OC] i just realized Dwayne Johnson was living above my appartment.
i was living under The Rock for a very long time.

a little joke about suicide
Suicide is like sex, men finish more often and more reliably

Do you mind if I use a voucher to pay for the meal?

My low tire pressure light came on
I went to the air pump and I was shocked to see it cost $3. I was met by a sign that said, cost due to inflation.