Things better not to say - random entries

What do you call the guy who graduated last in his class in med school?
“Doctor”

How long does it take a cop to change a lightbulb?
Dunno, but it better be more than 40 minutes.

What do rich people say when tickling their little kids?
Gucci, Gucci, Gucci.

Do you mind if I use a voucher to pay for the meal?

I know I`ll be writing math tomorrow, but there`s a documentary about door frames on TV right now!

First time I ever had sex I thought:
"Mmmm, this is expensive"

You cook all right, but not as good as Mama`s.

I fucked a Russian girl who stutters.
I was done before she said njet.

A Pole goes to an ophthalmologist
The doctor shows him C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Can you read this? He replies - Read? He’s my cousin

I`m aware that you can`t get married on your salary. But believe me, you`ll thank me someday!

What do you call a cruise ship where the crew won’t stop masturbating in front of passengers?
A tugboat

Isn’t it funny that even in the states where you can carry a gun
You can’t also be wearing a ski mask?

Water also becomes a fine drop if you mix it with malt and hops.