Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A man goes to the hospital about him loosing his eyesight.
After waiting for 30 minutes keeping himself busy he is called in to see the doctor early. After explaining his problem the doctor calmly replies " you need to stop masturbating" the man is shocked and says "will that stop me going blind?"
"NO!!! I asked you to stop because it was bothering everyone in the waiting room"
Men play games and enjoy their hobbies to let their inner child out, while the women just proceed with abortion
dark humor...
... Sayings ...Did you hear about the woman that was killed by a penis?
She never saw it coming
Never literally taking cooking instructions…
After my first attempt to make a cake, the fireman told me that when it says to grease the bottom of the pan, they meant to say the inside of the pan . . .
At the airport today a man fainted and slumped over onto the luggage carousel.
He slowly came around.
Friends
I used to have a buddy and we would play the game I spotted the ginger. Basically you had to be first to spot the ginger and make it known. He died in a car crash but I bought a ouija board and continued to play the game. Recently he hasn’t been responding I guess he has ghosted me
A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich
After he finishes eating, he pulls out a gun and shoots it in the air. The bartender is surprised and asks the panda why he did that. The panda pulls out a dictionary and points to the entry on "panda", which reads: "Panda: a large black and white bear-like mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."
Once as a kid, I asked my dad from where air come from
He replied: God farts too, my son
My girlfriend said I should trim my pubic hair
Apparently the last bush this out of control ended invading Iraq