Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...My wife says that we need to cut back on certain baked goods because of inflation.
But I checked the prices of the cakes in question and they hadn’t gone up at all, so I confronted her about it and she said “it’s not the price that’s inflating, it’s you!”
What
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.
Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.
One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
[Dark Humor] What’s the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
You take off your shoes before jumping on the trampoline.
So a Police officer in Mexico got a call about a train robbery...
He showed up after the suspect fled.
After interviewing everyone, he found nothing was taken and was quite perlexted. The man must of had a real loco motive.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go camping together
After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke:
"Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
I filled my car with gas the other week and it cost me $175.00
So I drove off without paying.
They took me to court and I got fined $75.00
I will be back next week with more money saving tips...
... at a dating site ...Ballack fan is looking for a ballerina who will drive to the Ballermann with me
and still not Ballaballa
How do eskimos always know where to find the best Seals?
They use their inuition
Have a "nice" day!
Today, June 9th...
People in countries with more logical date formats: "Have a nice day. "
People in the US: Have a "nice" day. ;-)