Things better not to say - random entries

Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.

There was a guy who had an old car and wants to to sell it but no one wanted to buy it
There was a guy who had an old car and wants to to sell it but no one wanted to buy it . His friend said he have an advice that would help him sell his car, he then told him to bring the logo of the lamborghini brand and stick it on it. The guy really liked the idea and did it immediately! A week later, his friend asked him, "Have you sold your car or not yet?" He replied “are you crazy or something? Who sells a fucking lamborghini!”

My friend Sarah is a keen feminist who also raps pretty well
We call her Feminem

The jokes from IKEA are great, but
a:1 b:1 c:1 d:1 e:4 f:1 h:3 i:2 l:3 n:2 o:3 p:1 r:1 s:1 t:2 u:4 v:1 Y:1 y:1

Why is the blonde trying to climb up a pane of glass? – She wants to know what`s on the other side.

How do Tigers, Elephants, and Lions fly?
On the African plane

My body is a temple
If you take your shoes off, you can come inside

What sound does a crow make when it’s giving a blowjob?
CAW CAW CAW

There are thirty thousand emojis out there, but if you ever want to post a pregnant alpaca with an umbrella, there`s none.

NYU has a new branch for studying comedy in the style of 3 Stooges
It’s called NYUK NYUK NYUK

My wife ran a red light while driving next to me
I can’t believe even my wife is leaving me on read now

Everyone wants to sleep with me, and I`m not tired at all.

Apparently nobody wants to go to adult film conventions anymore? Why?
I come to all of them.