Things better not to say - random entries

Why are Americans bad at math
Because they can’t find the solution to equality

I like to go around to construction sites and give out handjobs.
A Jack off all trades.

What does a horror movie stored in a pen drive give you?
Heebie GBs

How do you stop a Russian tank?
Shoot the soldiers pushing it

Shaving your ass and going on a crusade are rather similar.
All you need to be successful is a sharp blade and unwavering faith.

What comes before Listerine?
Thulium

What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake!

What does someone who studies time and an expert with prostitutes have in common?
They are both (w)horologists. No shame for sex workers or time keepers, just thought it was a fun word.

What do you call someone who never passes gas in public?
A private tutor.

Went on eBay to look for a lighter
But I found was 100,437 matches

Willie Nelson has been hospitalized after being struck by a car today.
He was playing on the road again.

What do you do to a dead scientist?
Ba

How do you jump start a serial killer robot with a dead battery?
Charge it with murder.