Things better not to say - random entries

"What a lovely pair of Blue Tits" said one Bird Watcher to the other
"Will you please shut up!" shouted everyone else at the Avatar 2 screening

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A dictator

Did you know that before Julius Caesar was emperor, he was regularly sexually assaulted by his superiors ?
He’s credited with starting the Et’, Tu Movement.

My sister has been complaining about someone sexually harassing her at work.
Honestly i think it’s her fault. What does she expect working at home?

What is K?
A dry text from a bad partner.

My dad left me when I was born
He came and went

What software do Eskimos use to do their taxes?
Inuit Turbotax

The Hat and the Bra
A bra and a hat are leaving a bar, the bra said to the hat, you go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift.

What is the number one kid show in Kabul?
Dora the exploder.

Spanish is the least transphobic language..
Even though you have masculine and feminine conjugations, you can always break the rules like el agua, el dia. For example, my Mexican wife left me for un hombre who could get her wet as el agua for todo del dia.

LPT: If you are planning to settle down, don’t date a soccer player.
There’s only a 1/11 chance they are a keeper.

Wow, the tart lacks the cream topping!

Screw you May the 4th Be With You people!
I had friends on that Death Star!