Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A time traveler asks an ancient Greek man about sex after learning about their culture....
Time Traveler: "Wait....you guys fuck other guys?"
Ancient Greek: "Of course we fuck guys. Women get pregnant, you idiot."
... Sayings ...
... at School ...When asked by the teacher "Where is Philadelphia?"
"At home in the fridge next to the butter"
What did Michael Jackson say when he watched Revenge of the Sith and saw Anakin getting burned at Mustafar?
"Ani, are you okay?"
I’m not at all proud of this one…What does Terry fox and Hitler have in common?
They both couldn’t finish the race
What do you call someone who likes both Shrek and Fiona?
Bishreksual
(Courtesy of my 13yo son)
I am so mad.
I had 2 WNBA tickets in my car.
Somebody broke into my car last night and I have 4 WNBA tickets now.
Sorry, but which pick-up line would you respond to the most positively?
A con man, an asshole and a moron enter a bar
What can I get you Mr. Trump, asked the barman
Why did Will Smith slap Chris instead of punching him?
Everybody knows paper beats rock
The people you meet as a firefighter are really weird sometimes.
I met this woman today who kept demanding I shave her baby.