Things better not to say - random entries

Which doctor works with joints?
Dr. Dre

I have decided not to make sexist or drug jokes from now, rather will give stock market and business advice...
I have decided not to make sexist or drug jokes from now, rather will give stock market and business advice... Its a good time to buy condom companies stocks, as condom sales are gonna double in the coming time. With abortion illegal people are gonna use two condoms at once. Also maybe buy a large stock of drugs, because women who cannot get abortion will need them during depression.

A man walks into a bar
"Oww that hurt" said the man.

Mary, Susan, Anna, and Timmy walk into a Jamba Juice
But when they sit down, only Mary, Susan, and Timmy get served their down. They flag the waiter down and ask why, and he says, “Today we decided to banana”

Does Yoda have a Fear of Missing Out?
No. MOFO.

I’m giving away free yodelling lessons
So please form an Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue

What do you call a blind fascist?
A Not-See

Form a band, call it "Blinddarm" and break through!

why did the banana go to a doctor?
Because it was not "peeling " well.

can we hurry I have to burn some evidence at home.

So Cleopatra turns to Marc Antony and says…
“Not tonight, dear, I’m on my pyramid.”

Today I learned that Dr. Seuss’ mom was a pioneer in physiotherapy.
Ma Seuss.

I'm stuck in traffic! Where, then?! At Aldi... The grandma in front of me has it right.