Things better not to say - random entries

Let`s play Chinese firecrackers. You`re the firecracker and I`ll bang you.

You are a bunny that not only raises my ears.

I now identify my gender as Michael Jackson
My pronouns are he/he

Why do people in wheelchair not know how to go by a recipe when cooking food?
Because in recipes, you have to follow it step by step.

My annual cake day joke repost - how can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?
Ask them to pronounce unionized

Being over six foot tall can be difficult sometimes
You would be surprised how hard it is to find a bed where my legs don’t hang over the end by at least two feet

Donald Trump’s daughter got married this weekend
For her “something blue,” he gave her Nevada

"Boss, you must stop experimenting our product with animals."
"But the cosmetics firms do that." "Boss, we make dildos."

Three nuns die in a car crash
They ascend to heaven and are met at the pearly gates by Saint Peter. “Before you can enter Heaven you must each answer a question to prove your piety.” He turns to the first nun and asks “How many commandments did God give to Moses?” The nun says “Oh, that’s easy, 10!” Ba Bada Bah! The trumpets blare and the pearly gate swings open. St Peter turns to the second nun, “Name the four evangelists.” “Ha, that’s simple, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!” Ba Bada Bah! The gate swings open and the happy nun walks in. He the turns to the third nun. “What we’re Eve’s first words to Adam?” Taken aback, the nun mutters “Wow, that’s a hard one!” Ba Bada Ba! The fate swings open.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.

What did the proctologist say to Ouranos?
"Okay, let me look at Uranus."

For this Halloween, I will dress up as a candle
This way, every girl i meet can blow me

Dwayne Johnson wants to move to a peninsula south of Spain.
He wants to be the Rock of Gibraltar.