Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Rick Moranis
Actor Rick Moranis is trying to make a big comeback in the acting world and I’m not about to let that happen. Most people forget that he shrunk his fucking kids and didn’t go to jail.
What three ingredients do you need to make the perfect douche?
Alum, rocket fuel, and a bucket of KFC. Makes you tight, out of sight and finger licking good.
My grandma told me that joke as a kiddo.
How do lawyers sleep?
They lie on one side then proceed to lie on the other
What do you call Alternative Medicine that is proven to work?
Medicine!
A Greek woman’s parents were opposed to her getting married.
“You just don’t like him because he’s German, not Greek!” she cried.
“No, that’s not it at all,” he mother replied. “We just want you to consider whether you really want to go the rest of your life with the name Philomina Krotch.”
How do blind people know when to open their parachute?
When the leash goes slack.
LPT: Follow the given three steps in order to successfully accomplish a murder.
1. Set out a few high-mounted boxes with hole in the front of them.
2. Scatter about several boxes filled with cashews.
3. Be sure to do this in a place crows frequent.
I heard about the ideal gas law in physics class PV=nRT…
and I heard non-ideal gas law in a crowded elevator PU=faRT
a joke
Whats long and brown and sticky??????
​
​
A stick
Hulk Hogan fact, English is not his mother tongue.
It’s his brother tongue.
I fancy myself an entomologist. I have a way with words...
...when it comes to bugs.