Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Sport Balls
At age 25 men play basketball
At age 40 men play tennis
At age 60 men play golf
The moral of the story is the older you get the smaller your balls get
Imagine being such a horrible PM
That 2 days after you take office the Queen is so tired of you, she just dies.
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is omnipotent- he expects the Spanish Inquisition
What would you call an Eiffel Tower if it was constructed by Apple?
An iFfel Tower
How do you know Donald Trump has been to your office?
The lost and found box has been looted and your secretary is suing for sexual harassment
What is it called when a transgender person ejaculates?
Transmission fluid.
I went to the gym and jumped on the treadmill.
People started giving me funny looks, so I started running instead.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
I work for a record company that specializes in classical music reprints.
A bit before noon today, I invited one of my co-workers to lunch.
She politely declined my 18 to 12 overture.
I’m giving away free yodelling lessons
So please form an Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue
... to Blondes ...Where does a blonde go when she`s walking around town with a mattress? For the interview – she should bring her documents with her!
A man donates blood to save his wife.
In a life or death situation a man gives his wife blood to keep her alive.
However, a few months later they get divorced. At the divorce hearing the man demands his blood back.
After receiving a tampon to the face, he yells angrily, "What the fuck was that?!"
To which the wife replies.
"That was my first monthly payment"