Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Amazon
Amazon’s stock has been tanking recently. Would seem to be a PRIME opportunity to buy
"Have the double reed players arrived?" the conductor asked...
The flautist responded, "Not yet... Bas-soon."
In the alternate ending of Good Will Hunting...
the therapist, Sean, finds out that Will went out west and tried to steal some land in California along the San Andreas line.
Prince William & Prince Harry
Prince William & Prince Harry are in the drawing room at buck house drinking brandy, at the end of the night
Prince Harry says “right wills I’m off to go to and spank the yank”
Prince William replies “that’s great Harry I’ve got to give the Princess of Wales one”
Did you know that Paul Walker had dandruff?
I didn’t know either, until I saw his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
... during Sex ...How do you make a dog go "meow"?
Freeze the dog and cut the frozen dog with a circular saw.
You either die young enough to be remembered as a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Just ask Jean-Claude Van Damme
I believe the tornado chasers are the reincarnation of ancient sailors
They both hear the siren and know it’s dangerous, but they just keep going.
———
There was a tornado in my city and then I think of this.
LPT: If you are planning to settle down, don’t date a soccer player.
There’s only a 1/11 chance they are a keeper.
Why did the person trade their slow deer?
They wanted to get a quick buck!