Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What did the wife say to the husband when they were arguing during dinner?
"I have a lot on my plate right now"
Did you ever hear of actress Rita Tushingham?
She was in A Taste of Honey. She‘s white and in the movie, a black guy got her pregnant. When she went to the hospital, they gave her a white baby doll to practice with, and she ran out crying. “Oh the color’s wrong, the color’s wrong.”
Many years later, she was in the scary movie Puffball: The Devil’s Eyeball (with that blonde bitch from The Crying Game). The director insisted she dye her hair red for the part. But dyed red hair fades out within a day or so. This frustrated Rita: “Oh, the color’s wrong, the color’s wrong.”
I was arrested for having an unhealthy attraction to large amounts of data
They’re calling me a petaphile
What’s the difference between the 2022 World Series Game 4 and my dad?
Game 4 was a no hitter.
What do you get when you mix Napolean Dynamite and Napolean Bonaparte?
Napolean Blownapart
When some parents say their kid has been dropped as a child
they just trying to avoid responsibility
I just heard about the Dunning-Kruger effect
What a crock! I could have written that paper drunk with a couple mates!
... to your Teacher ...A 5th grade teacher and his students huddle behind their desks during an active shooter lockdown
A 5th grade teacher and his students huddle behind their desks during an active shooter lockdown.
The students all look petrified as they crouch their in silence. Just then there are aggressive bangs on the door. A student asks the teacher in hushed tones if they’ll be ok.
The teacher, who would never lie to his students, answered quietly “Well I have good news and bad news.”
All eyes then trained to the teacher.
“The good news is that I actually have a gun in my desk”
There are some looks of relief, mixed with small amounts of confusion.
“The bad news is, I only keep 1 bullet”