Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
A man woke up sobbing
"The world is a cruel uncaring void!" he cried. "Pleasure is fleeting but pain is eternal! Hope is a mirage! What cruel God made this reality!?"
Next to him, his wife stirred.
"Oh honey...is it Monday already...?"
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and hung up.
I’m getting tired of these cold calls
Why does Alex Jones believe The Frogs are being turned gay?
What do you expect when the arc nemesis of the amphibians, The Lizards, are the ones controlling the world!!!
All world leaders should be women!
Instead of going to war, they would just stop talking to each other.
... during Sex ...Why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch unintentionally...
....then to fall asleep in bed intentionally?
I went to the doctor to get a physical so I could enroll in gymnastics.
They said they wouldn’t serve me because I had “outstanding balance”. Just one look at me and they knew I was ready, no checkup needed!
... at Office ...The biggest lies in the office: I`ll do it now. That was not me. That was fine yesterday.
I was arguing with a guy at a bar who said he was a big rock star in the 80’s
I didn’t believe him, but he was Adamant.