Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I’ve been working for an orthodontist on a freelance basis…
… but now they’ve put me on a retainer.
Voting is a lot like driving
To go backwards, choose “R”.
To go forward, choose “D”.
... at a upscale establishment ...A cat walks into a bar.
He’s having a bad day. He asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey. The bartender puts it on the counter and the cat slowly nudges the shot glass onto the floor breaking the shot glass. The cat looks up at the bartender and says leave the bottle. I’m not done yet.
Doc : I have some bad news and some good news.
Doc : I have some bad news and some good news.
Me : Okay, give me the bad news.
Doc: Well it’s all how you regard something like this, but you show very definite signs of homosexuality.
Me: Oh, come on. What in the world is the good news?
Doc: The good news is I think you’re cute.
... to a Politician ...I`ve been cycling to work for two weeks now, but that takes up a lot of space in the trunk.
Tottenham Hotspur beat good teams but lose to trash teams…
An Arsenal fan adamantly replies
“Well we beat you 2-0” mate a few weeks ago”
So I said “ my point stands”
The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said,
“We want ten thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again."
Still hasn’t resigned
Well I guess there will always be a place for Boris Johnson with the “Party, Party, Party” party.
My wife asked what is manspoiling?
I told her that it is mansplaining.
I am not a certified proctologist.
But i know an asshole when i see one.