Things better not to say - random entries

A brain eating amoeba entered into my head.
Poor fella died of hunger.

Hi! The way you look, you were just waiting for me.

Do Nazis actually start their foreigner-friendly sentences with "I`m a racist, but..."?

I like my woman like I like my robot
Lots of screws and lugnuts

Don`t pull on the bra, it`s sensitive.

"Was it a trainee?"
- Not the best question to ask if your wife wants your opinion on her new haircut.

The best thing about women is that they can forgive you even though you are innocent.

She said “I like rough fast sex, make it hurt”
So I came in 2 seconds and hit her in the head with a brick .

Some lady asked me how well I was hung.
I said I was was so well hung I was hung like Epstein!

What did the socks say to the pants?
Wassup, britches?

What’s the difference between Rapunzel and U.S. politicians?
While Rapunzel let’s her hair down, U.S. politicians let everyone else down

What’s red and green and goes 60 mph?
A frog in a blender.

As soon as I find a pirate ship with wifi, I`m kind of out of here.