Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What is the difference between rigged erections and rigged elections?
For one you take a little blue pill. For the other you drink all the red Kool-Aid.
... to your Girlfriend ...But you want to be a princess, you already know: Cinderella lost her shoe, not her panties...
Ego and superego walk into a bar
Bartender folds his arms and says “I’m gonna need to see some id”
A cowboy rode to town on Friday. He stayed three days and then left on Friday. How did he do it?
The horses name was Friday
A man named Vival gets lost in the woods
A man with the second name Vival gets lost in the woods for 10 years. Many presumed him to be dead until he was found again alive and well he was surrounded by reporters asking the same question
“Vival mister how did you survive?”
He responded, “ahh well my knightly title kept my spirits up for I am, Sir Vival”
... at a Date ...Putin and President Zelensky went out one day…
On the way, Zelensky noticed an elderly lady crossing the zebra crossing.
“Should I go help her?” He asked,
“No” said Putin. “What do you get out of it?”
A few minutes later Zelensky saw 2 people unnecessarily arguing,
“Should I go break up the fight?” He asked.
“No,” said Putin once again. “I don’t see anything wrong with a fight.”
Later that day, Zelensky noticed a piece of trash on the floor,
“Should I go put that piece of trash in the garbage?” He asked.
“You know what! GO AHEAD, go throw away the garbage… JUST promise you will SHUT UP once you return.” Angrily said Putin.
Zelensky smiled and happily accepted the deal…
…Later that night Putin found himself stuck in the middle of a landfill.
Why are homophobes and racists so Similar?
They think everything is black and white.
Which professional sport has the worst return of investment (ROI) for the owners?
American football. It costs millions for a star player, but you only get a quarter back.