Things better not to say - random entries

What’s brown and sticky
A stick What’s yellow and sticky? A yellow stick What’s white and sticky Cum

What happens when you toss a joint roach out of the window while riding in a car?
Pot holes.

I can row a boat….
Canoe?

Due to budget constraints …
The American space agency has been forced to find a private investor to continue its efforts. After several failed partnership offers, government functionaries announced a merger with a prominent baking company. In a press conference, one reporter asked if the new company would be forced to delay planned extra-orbital missions. The spokesperson replied… “No, not NASA-Sara Lee”

I really like ghost’s stories
They’re such transparent narrators being ghosts & all.

Why shouldn’t you beat a dead horse?
Why can’t you beat a dead horse? It can’t defend itself. It can’t run away. You can’t hurt it. It cannot feel pain. If that’s your thing, I won’t kink shame you.

One of the effects of ADHD…
Is that you can’t

My girlfriend yelled at me, "You always act like a detective. I want to break up!" Eyes wide, I replied...
"Great idea! That way we can cover more ground!”

What do you get when you cross an early bird and a night owl?
Shut the f up, I only got 2 hours of sleep last night!

Why are squids the funniest animals?
...because of their ten-tickles

Cancers are like women
Both go away after weakening you

What did Apu (from The Simpsons) say after sex?
Thank you, cum again

I could tell plane jokes but,
They are so overused. Its a very boeing joke. *Yawns*