Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Today I learned that Dr. Seuss’ mom was a pioneer in physiotherapy.
Ma Seuss.
Why do lesbians and guys with cats have an easy time picking up girls?
You need pussy to get pussy!
Why is GEICO so aggressive?
Because they try to sell you insurance right from the gecko.
A bear and a rabbit are shitting in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No". So the bear wiped his ass with him.
... at a Date ...A woman approaches a guy.
Her: "Hi"
He: "Hi, sorry I don`t have time for surveys"
Her: "Um, I just wanted to get to know you"
He: "Oh wow... uh, I usually don`t get approached by beautiful women"
A horse walks into a bar
And he asks the bartender, "Got any hay?"
To which the bartender replies, "No, get the fuck out of my bar!"
People gathered for schrodingers funeral and everyone had one thing on their mind….
“Hmmmm”
God bless y’all and may he rest in peace
What’s the difference between a cigarette and a hamster?
Neither is technically harmful until you put it in your mouth and light it.
... to your Boss ...How are Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump similar?
They both made fortunes just by playing with orange balls.
Grandpa wanted his remains to be scattered on a beach when he died.
As soon as we started dumping the coolers, people freaked out and called the police on us.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind ...
... but it will allow ugly people to get laid.