Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...You ever have to deal with that annoying pneumonic tube?
T-uba
U-sed
B-y
E-ugene
Morticians...
Do they consider the main part of their job to be making love or fucking?
... at Facebook ...I was so proud of the solution. Unfortunately, it didn`t match the problem.
A guy goes to a hypnotherapist
- How much for a session?
- 1.000$
- Oh, that way too much!
- This is not expensive at all
- This is not expensive at all, this is not expensive at all…
3 soldiers get captured
Three soldiers get ambushed on patrol and get taken prisoner. The enemy decides they will be shown no mercy, and that they will be executed by firing squad immediately.
The three men start thinking of how they can escape.
The first man is stood before the firing squad as he yells “look out stampede!” The firing squad falls for it and the fist man scrambles off and gets away.
The second man thinks to himself “that worked out well” so he follows suit. As he is stood before the firing squad he yells “watch out! Avalanche!!” Once again they fall for it and he makes good on his escape.
The third thinks to himself “That didn’t seem so hard.” So once again they line up ready to shoot. The third and final man points and shouts “Fire!!!”
And that’s exactly what they did.
A guy walks into a bar with a gun ...
A guy walks into a bar with a gun, fires one shot into the ceiling, then snarls: “Who’s the low-down dirty varmint who had sex with my wife?”
There is a long silence, until a guy in the back calls out: “You ain’t got enough bullets!”
My best friend and I were both born on 4/20.
We always have a joint birthday party.
Missouri Passes Gun Control
**In Missouri, they have banned your right to bare arms.**
... to your Boyfriend ...Yesterday I was only two women away from having a threesome.