Things better not to say - random entries

What do Atheists and Christian Conservatives have in common?
They interpret the Bible literally.

...better disgusting than nothing...!

Some people call their mistakes "happy accidents"
But some people get more creative and give them cute little names like Nathan or Thomas, just like my parents did.

What style of music do poor composers write?
Baroque

Trump can’t run for president
He can’t run for shit

How do you know someone is vegan?
Because they’ll fucking tell you right away without you even asking or saying anything

“What do you call a line for a Vietnamese restaurant in London?”
“Pho queue.” “Well, fuck you too!”

There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished.
He disappeared without a tres

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy?
Neither did he

The guy who invented toast:
Cook it again

What`s my new girlfriend`s name?

why are 8,9 and 10 always eating snacks and soft drinks?
Because they are in the 7/11