Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?
There was dabrie everywhere!
Three psychiatrists are having a drink after work, talking about their newest patients.
The first one says, “My most recent patient works as a telemarketer. She has a lot of hang ups.”
The second one added, “I have a new patient who works at the sewage treatment plant. He’s into a lot of crazy shit.”
The third one is silent, but after some prodding says “We’ll, I can’t really compete with you. My most recent patient is a statistician and he just has a standard deviation.”
I asked Abe Lincoln if he wore a silly hat. He replied:
“For sure, and seven years ago…”
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch.
The bartender says, “Hey, what’s wrong with the steering wheel?”
The pirate says, “Arrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
Richard Gere shoves gerbils up his anus for sexual pleasure….
Chuck Norris uses porcupines
Sorry, I’m french Canadian. Why isn’t there any RSS reader app called URSS?
RSS feeds.
What do you call it when the electrician comes to fix your fan shirtless
Fan service
A woman fighting for equal rights got in a taxi…
…While she was naked and the taxi driver looks her up and down.
She promptly replied with “what have you never seen a naked woman?”
Then he says “No I’m wondering how the hell you’re gonna pay me without a purse, cash or credit.”
Disclaimer: I heard this from someone else you may or may not have seen it.
... at a Date ..."Boss, you must stop experimenting our product with animals."
"But the cosmetics firms do that."
"Boss, we make dildos."
Did you hear about the guy who got bitten by a radioactive pig and gained super-pig powers?
His name was Peter Porker.