Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I divorced my wife because she was too loud in bed.
I could hear her from two houses down the street.
Have you heard about the dyslexic spy who got caught with a suitcase nuke in the post office?
Fission mailed!
What do a priest and a nightlight have in common?
They both get turned on by little kids.
... at a Date ...I was angry at my friend and he sarcastically asked "what would Jesus do?"
So I flipped over the table and chased him from the building with a whip.
I saw this kid crying today, so I asked him where his parents were
I couldn’t tell what he was saying though. It was hard to hear over the other kids in the orphanage
How did everyone find out Paul Walker had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glovebox
Three moles are in a narrow tunnel heading to the royal bakery
The first one says, "I smell sugar."
The second says, "I smell cinnamon."
The third one says, "I smell molasses."
... at the Stadion ...
... to your Girlfriend ...What’s the best present you can gift?
A broken drum.
Nobody can beat that.
My obese parrot just died.
I’m very sad but it is a huge weight off my shoulders.
What do you call a silent protest that holds a partially understandable opinion?
quiet riot