Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...The box of condoms
Young couple finishes having sex when the female rolls over and looks at the box of condoms sitting on the nights stand, and notices that there are only six left out of the original dozen
She says,
- ”We only used one. What happened to the other 5 condoms?”
The young man thinks then tells her that he used them to make balloon animals for his young niece and nephew. It took 2 to make a balloon lion and 3 to make a giraffe.
Later that night the girl is out to dinner with another male friend and tells him the story about the balloon animals.
- “What do you think?” she says
He laughs and says,
- ”Why, I do that all the time”.
- “Are you telling me you make balloon animals with condoms also?”
- "No, I lie to my girlfriend."
I experienced my first mugging last night...
I got a little banged up, but at least I now have some beer money!
Bilbo was surprised to hear of a Tesco Express opening up in the Shire...
It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area
... Sayings ...Why did the latina buffalo play the lottery?
So chicken wing some money
What’s the difference in a Lamborghini and a boner?
I don’t have a Lamborghini.
What is worse whan 3 newborn child in thrash can?
1 newborn child in 3 thrash cans.
What does a biologist scream when they go to the beach and the sand is too warm?
Mitosis!
... to Employees ..."Doctor, I talk in my sleep."
"Is that so bad?"
"Yes, the whole office is already laughing about it!"
Why is it so hard to introduce a welsh gf to your parents?
Because her name is impossible to pronounce
Why does Jeffery Dahmer always check himself in the mirror?
Just checking to see if he has someone in his teeth.