Things better not to say - random entries

Why was the movie theater sad on Valentine’s Day?
Because it got projected.

Chuck Norris once heard a butterfly flap its wings in China
He was standing in Texas.

i like my woman how i like my coffee
it came with a sandwich

Hello, I`m a writer and I`m writing a phone book... I`m just missing your number.

Passed by a building made entirely of keilbasa.
Never sausage a place before.

Did you hear about that business tycoon who made a fortune selling young poultry?
Dude was a total chick magnate.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
*gurgling noises*

Why did the melon get married in the church?
Because it cantaloupe

What’s the difference between Joe Biden and a race car?
A race car can move at 200mph

What’s a good title for necrophilia porn?
Good mourning.

How does a self obsessed woman with god complex masturbate?
Narcissors

When I die
I have two requests. First, I want my remains scattered around Disney World. Second, I do not want to be cremated. (not mine)

Be careful when it comes to following the masses…
Sometimes the “m” is silent.