Hush

Things better not to say - random entries

... Jokes ...

What is the difference between urine and Reaganomics?
The urine actually trickles down to the bottom.

... Jokes ...

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant; in India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant; in Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant; in China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant; in the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant; in South America they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant; in the USA they didn’t know what ‘the rest of the world’ meant.

... during Sex ...

Sex makes you slim. Let`s lose weight together!

... Jokes ...

Why do prison guards use Proactive?
To prevent breakouts.

... Jokes ...

Where did Oscar the Grouch get all of his opiates from?
Poppy street

... Jokes ...

What is the difference between "Ooooh" and "Aaaah"?
10 centimeters.

... Jokes ...

What do you get when you cross a Jew with a Roman?
Your lord and savior.... Nailed it.

... during Sex ...

Sex isn`t everything in life, but in a life without sex everything is kind of stupid.

... Jokes ...

I like women
I went to my doctor today. His idea of foreplay is to ask "have i checked your prostate recently?"

... Jokes ...

What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!

... Jokes ...

Jokes about writing impairment aren’t funny
Their bad

... Jokes ...

So this guy walks into a church...
So this guy walks into a church. He goes up to the priest and says: “Look, I’m struggling a lot lately, trying to understand the universe, and our place in existence and all that. None of the stories I’ve heard satisfy me. Can you just tell me honestly – where did this world come from?” The priest looks at him for a moment and replies: “So you really want to know how this world came to be? You want to hear the real creation story?” “Yes I do!” the man pleads. “OK…” The priest pauses then in a solemn reverential tone he begins: *“In the beginning, God said:…”* “What did God say?” the man asks. Another pause, then the priest continues: *“‘So this guy walks into a church…’”*

... Jokes ...

My wife said she wants to break up with me
I asked her “Why?!?” Wife: “You keep making stupid Transformers jokes…” Me: “Please don’t leave, I can change!”