Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What happened to the student who got kicked out of Hogwarts?
They were exspelled
Why do girls like sex with osama bin laden?
Because sex with him is the bomb.
I asked my mom why I had to finish my laundry before I went out clubbing.
“Clothes before hoes”
This guy was finishing his dinner at a restaurant...
...and the waiter said "How did you find your steak sir?" The guy said "By accident. I moved my baked potato and there it was."
A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila
He slams them all back and says “You know, I really shouldn’t be drinking with what I’ve got.”
The bartender asks “Why? What have you got?”
The guy replies “2 dollars.”
Jewish boy asks his dad to borrow 50 dollars.
Jewish dad: "40 dollas!? Whaddya need 30 dollas for!?"
My girlfriend threatened to leave unless I stopped being delusional and admitted that I am not a Transformer
But I told her “Babe, I can change!”
Do you know the difference between a face mask and a chickpea?
No?
So you wouldnt mind having a chick pee on your face then
A witch was flying on her broom when she noticed that all the witches she passed were flying on vacuum cleaners.
She thought to herself, "Am I the only one who still drives a stick?"
If you have invested in an ice making business, my advice will be to withdraw your money.
They …are having liquidity issues.