Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Woodstock was full of hippies, high-potency drugs and all-day music
At night it was fucking in tents.
What is the best part about being a dad?
Fatherhood, the one hoodie your girl can’t steal from you
... to Employees ..."We are doing very well," goes the Russian proverb,
Not as well as last year,
But certainly we are better off than we will be next year.
I asked Abe Lincoln if he wore a silly hat. He replied:
“For sure, and seven years ago…”
The only reason why the British lost the American revolutionary war was because...
They drank tea which made them tearrible
Why Tiger Woods is always doing great?
Becuse he knocks on himself before every game.
How do you stop a baby from turning blue?
Take it out of the plastic bag.
(no joke, told by my 12 year old daughter at Thanksgiving dinner)
... at Hospital ...Old couple: "Homosexuality is against nature!"
Me: "Your pacemaker too!"
What spice do you get when you combine my grade on my last test and my race into one word?
Cajun
... to your Friends ...I live a life like Hugh Hefner. So without the money... and without a villa... and also without women. But I always wear a bathrobe.