Things better not to say - random entries

What did the police officer say to the criminal hiding under the bed?
“You’re under rest”

I tried to make a Joke about the French army.
Well, I gave up.

Anyone else thought that a brothel was a soup kitchen?
I went in expecting beef or chicken, I got fish!

What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.

I drove past a farm late at night
and I saw a young cow walking around, all alone. I pulled over and asked, “Isn’t it pasture bed time?”

So the other day I’m walking home from work.
I come across a homeless man with his cock stuck in a sewer drain. A firefighter shows up and starts mutilating him with an axe then eats seven dead fetuses. I thought, “wow”

Some jokes are made by great minds
And others are made through group collaboration (lets write a joke together guys)

do you know what are the most chatty shoes?
The converse.

what has 98 legs and 6 teeth?
The queue for methadone.

What did the impossible non-Euclidean wife shape say to her impossible non-Euclidean husband shape?
"This relationship is very one-sided."

You’ve heard the classic Hagrid false quote “You’re a lizard, Harry!” Well, now it’s time for:
“I’m gonna become Tokage!” — Naruto Uzumaki

WARNING that jokes sucks more than a 2012 zelmer vacuum
what instrument does a fisherman play? a bass guitar.

What’s your favorite “yo mamma” joke?
One of my favorites: your mama’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.