Things better not to say - random entries

What do you call a horny Russian woman?
Ivana Sukhimoff

Sorry if I sound like an asshole but...
*fart*

What do you study? Disney`s design?

Where are non-binary people buried?
A themetery.

Water also becomes a fine drop if you mix it with malt and hops.

What do you call a woman with her head down a drain?
Ingrid.

Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it

There once was a man from Limerick
There once was a man from Limerick, who had no idea of the short, often humerus, jokes about his home town.

I`m sorry I can`t do that, it`s taking too long.

One day a blind man goes to restaurant
The server asked him if he’d like to see the menu The blind man says: “no, I am blind, just bring me a dirty fork and I will smell it and order”. The server, confused, goes to the kitchen, and brings back a dirty fork. The blind man smells it and says: “I’ll have the beef steak with mash potatoes and gravy and some chocolate brownies for dessert”. The server brings him his food and the blind man enjoys his meal, pays the bill and leaves. Next week, the blind man goes back to the same restaurant. The server recognizes him and wanting to see how good the blind man’s sense of smell is, he goes to the kitchen and asks his wife, Brenda, for a spoon. He instructs his wife, Brenda, to rub the spoon all over her private parts and so she does. The server hands the dirty spoon to the blind man. The blind man takes a whiff and says: “I didn’t know Brenda worked here”

I slept with a girl with a nut allergy
I came & she died.

Why are the Pyramids in Egypt?
Because they’re too heavy to take to the British Museum.

Why do lesbians use academy (the sports equipment place)
Because they don’t like dicks