Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What do you get if you line 4 shortbreads up in a row?
.... A baguette
What do you get if you line 2 shortbreads up in a row?.... A mini baguette
What do you get if you cut a baguette in half?....
Half a baguette
I was in the USA recently
Where I came across an interesting custom. People would shout the slogan of their school "Roll Tide" or just the schools name. So I gotta ask seeing as everyone was shouting it at me; where is Fork University?
Trying to find a story anti-joke I heard once from a coworker
The story went something like this but I can’t remember the exact punchline, please help me out if you know where it’s from or could write the joke well!
There’s an extremely skilled carpenter father who has a son but loses his wife in childbirth. Then the son grows up and gets cancer young so the father has to sell all his valuable sculpted pieces of wood to pay for the surgery including a special wooden globe he made for his son because his son is his whole world. Then his son tragically dies and the father wants to go find the globe he made as a memorial to his son, he looks all over in different stores but is distraught until going into the final store in town where the shop keeper leads him to a back room and they talk for a minute and then the shop keeper makes a stupid pun that turns the whole story joke on it’s head
It made me laugh so hard but now I can’t remember, please help!
... to the Police ..."You know why I stopped you?" - "Yes, because Batman and Robin hunt the right criminals."
... at a Date ...I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass.
After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles.
After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass...
I used to be an Equine Sadistic Necrophiliac
But I was just flogging a dead horse.
Girl: “Come over”
Guy: “I’m coming over”
Girl: “We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over.”
What did Johnny Cage say when he found out his motorcycle was stolen?
Motor, come back!
The queue to join the queue has been officially named the Queuey II or QE2 for short.
The Queen was unavailable for comment.
Got an email asking me to invest in Egyptian architecture.
Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.