Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Stone.
Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral.
As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Tell me, how much did it really cost?”
“All of it,” said Rose. “Fifty thousand.”
“No!” Sadie exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but really… $50,000?!”
Rose nodded. “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church for the priest’s services. The food and drinks were another $500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone.”
Sadie computed quickly. “$42,500 for a memorial stone? Exactly how big is it?”
“Seven and a half carats"
My wife said she wanted to give me a three-way for my birthday.
I asked, "What are their names?"
I bang my wife with a solid 9 inches everyday
3 inches in the morning
3 inches in the afternoon
3 inches in the evening
​
It adds up :)
It seems SBF’s parents jumbled his name
It should have been Fried a Bank
Too soon?
My friend and I were talking about pirated movie in China
Friend: I can watch a whole movie on Bilbili
Me: There are basically no Copyright in China, because the people there have no right.
Friend: So they left with copy. And they think copy is right
Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer
One cannibal asked the other:
Do you think this tastes a little.. funny?
The other cannibal replied:
No.
... during Sex ...What’s the difference between piano, fish and glue?
You can tuna a pain but you can’t tuna fish
What did George Michael and wellington boots have in common?
They both got sucked off in bogs.
What do you call the YouTube channel of a werewolf who works on submarines to stay out of the way of full moons and copies all the documents for the captain?
Lycan sub scribe