Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Can’t believe the Queen is dead
Cant believe the Queen is dead, I loved Bohemian Rhapsody
Balls are like energy points but in real life
sometimes you don’t have enough
A Punjabi latifa (joke), translated.
The government, via the local mosque, announces that every married couple will receive 100, 000 rupees for every child they have, as a sort of relief check.
Johnny, a poor man with 7 kids, hears this joke.
He tells his wife, "O wife, we have 7 kids, and we will receive 700,000 rupees from the government"
"Indeed", she replies back.
"How would you like it, if instead of 700,000 rupees, i get our family 900,000 instead"
"That would be wonderful! But how will you do that? We only hage 7 children."
"Well, actually, I need to tell you something", confesses the husband, "I have a mistress, whom I kept secret from you, and I have 2 children with her. If I go and get those 2, and add them to the 7 i have with you, it makes 9!"
"Wonderful, then we will finally be able to buy that new car! "
"Exactly", replies the husband.
He goes and gets his 2 children from his mistress. Upon returning he gets ready to leave with all 9 of his children. He is counting heads when he suddenly realizes:"One, two.... six, seven-? Hey honey two of our kids are missing! Where did they go?"
"Why are you surprised, honey? After all, you werent the only one that heard the announcement."
Putin thought that taking Kyiv was just a matter of painting letters on tanks.
It was easier Z than done.
Man with a lisp was arrested today…
…after being caught redhanded stealing from the kitchen section of Bed Bath and Beyond.
Upon being interrogated he told the police, “I’m sorry! I can’t help it! The thrill of theft just makes me feel alive. I guess I’m addicted to taking whisks.”
If the joint in the middle of your leg is your knee, what is the joint at the top of your leg called?
Your Hiney.
... during Sex ...What is the sweet which was attacked by the military called?
A salted caramel cake.
Credit goes to a friend, I just helped with formatting.
How can you tell when your dog is trying to tell you that there is a homeless man on top of your house?
Your dog starts yelling loudly “ Roof, Roof”.
Chuck Norris a dozen raw eggs
The eggs are now infected with salmonorris
People that did not get the vax act like they are superior because their blood is "purer". This is false.
They are superior because their brains are bigger.