Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I tried to exercise the 2nd amendment…
Instructions unclear… Got charged with animal cruelty and disfigurement.
2nd attempt: Denied due to false dress code
... to the Police ...Ever year after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits.
I can do it, because I have lots of cold turkey.
The Amish Man at the Tollbooth
An Amish man was going along in his horse-drawn buggy when he arrived at a tollbooth. The tollbooth operator said it would be $5 to proceed. The Amish man said he thought that only applied to cars, and the operator explained that in fact, it applied to all vehicles.
So the man turned around and went back up the road a ways, unharnessed the horse, sat it in the buggy, and hooked himself into the harness, and proceeded back to the tollbooth, pulling the buggy with the horse sitting in it. The operator again asked for the $5 toll.
The Amish man gestured at the buggy and said "talk to the driver."
... at Hospital ...Jogging in the morning is not for me, the hot coffee constantly sloshing over the edge.
Free speech was invented in 1985
Because the year before was literally 1984.
When struggling between which grey/gray to use…
Just remember this helpful tip:
Europe=grEy, America=grAy.... and for the Canadians, grEHy
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them
Why did the ussr collapse?
Look at the flag, they gave themself a one star rating..
... during Sex ...A horse walks into a bar
Bartender says “why the long face?” the horse says “if you think my face is long, you should see my cock”.