Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...joke about icecream
person 1: hey can i try some of your icecream?
person 2: sure!
person 2: could i try some of yours?
person 1: no.
I thought they testicle convention would be a good place to relax and unwind, but...
...it was just nuts!
what do Zelensky and Hitler have in common?
they both jailed their political opponents.
This guy was finishing his dinner at a restaurant...
...and the waiter said "How did you find your steak sir?" The guy said "By accident. I moved my baked potato and there it was."
Getting old
As I get older I notice my bowl movements are a bit more consistent. Every morning around 5am I pee. And every morning around 6am I poop. The only problem is I don’t wake up until 7am.
A man walks into a cake shop
A man walks into a cake shop and asks for a cake in the shape of the letter e. The clerk says no problem come back tomorrow.
The next day the man goes back and is presented with the cake.
“No no this is all wrong. I need a lower case e, this cake is an uppercase E. Please can you make a new one, I really need it today?”
The lady reluctantly agrees.
The man comes back in the afternoon and is presented with a cake in the shape of lowercase e.
“Perfect, just what I needed. You’re a life saver!”
The lady asks if he would like it gift wrapped.
“No thanks, I’ll just eat it here.”
Now that Dr. Fauci is retiring soon, they’re going to make a TV movie about his life!
You wanna know what it’s called?
I know my MIDDLE name is Stephen
Bird: "Why do they use us to teach human kids about having sex?"
Bee: "Because you can fly in my honey!"
Why did Aaron Paul do such a good job portraying Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad?
Because he’s a meth-head actor.
A bank teller decides to leave his job to go back to college for an education in chemistry.
Turns out he had a compound interest.