Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Dentist: “When was the last time you flossed?”
Shaking my head. “Dude, you were there!”
... at Office ...The biggest lies in the office: I`ll do it now. That was not me. That was fine yesterday.
I like women the same way I like my coffee
Freshly delivered from a third world country.
Two Jewish men walk past a Catholic Church
Two Jewish men were walking past a Catholic Church when they saw a sign in the window that read, “Convert today and receive $100!”
“Hey man, are you going to go and do it?,” asked the first Jewish man.
“Heck no, I would never give up on my beliefs and faith, especially for just $100,” said the second Jewish man.
“Well, I am going to go in and see what it is all about. Who knows, maybe they are onto something,” replied the first Jewish man.
So, the first Jewish man walked into the Cathedral while the second man waited outside. After about an hour of waiting the first man, finally, came back outside.
“So, did you get the money?,” asked the second Jewish guy.
The first, now Catholic, guy replied, “IS THAT ALL YOU PEOPLE EVER THINK ABOUT?!?!?!”
I went golfing and was asked why my bag had an extra pair of socks
I told them "incase I get a hole in one!"
Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe?
Fucking close to water!
What did the homeless man say to the musician?
"You poor man. Here."
*empties his change cup*
Why did Will Smith slap Chris instead of punching him?
Everybody knows paper beats rock
I tried cutting wood by just looking at it, and it worked!
I saw it with my own two eyes
... to your Friends ...It`s suspicious that in Miss Universe, someone from Earth always wins.
Maegan Hall was sad that she needs to find a new job as she was fired from the police department
I suggested her to try being a truck driver as they pay by the load!!
... to your Girlfriend ...Oh no, "that" time of the month again? I`ll see you in a week then.