Things better not to say - random entries
... at a Date ...You have a pretty smile. Too bad it`s not the only thing you`re wearing.
... Jokes ...How many Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer to stay in the dark.
... during Sex ...When I recently asked a doctor if he had ever had sex with a patient, he hit me right away. No humor these coroners.
A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila
He slams them all back and says “You know, I really shouldn’t be drinking with what I’ve got.”
The bartender asks “Why? What have you got?”
The guy replies “2 dollars.”
I finally, after 35 years, have made my own two line joke
What’s a gooses’s favorite vegetable?
Asparagoose.
You`re getting prettier every day and you already look like next week!
Of course, I don`t know whether I`ll live tomorrow, but if I live tomorrow, I know for sure that I`ll drink tomorrow. Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
When does a bad smelling firebird accompany a magician?
When you say the 5th book of Harry Potter in a british accent.
Harry Potter and the (Odor) of the Phoenix
The hardest thing in life isn’t a boner, it’s actually living with ADHD
Because once the monkey inside my brain gets his daily dose of amphetamines it becomes a circus!
One moment it wants to play the harmonica and the next thing it wants to do is a solve a cold case from the 90s.
After Trump’s NFT announcement…
He was called a charlatan. He denied it, saying he lives in Florida.
What do you call a beautiful nymphomaniac ginger head living in a lower-class suburb?
Red hot riding hood.