Hush

Things better not to say - random entries

... Jokes ...

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wiped his bum.

... Jokes ...

What is the difference between a subway sandwich and a whore
Both could be avoided if your wife did her damn job

... Jokes ...

What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker??
Paul Walker hit 100 before he died.

... Jokes ...

A girl I was dating told me she liked to be peed on
I said, “I’m not sure about all that but you’ll love what I left on the toilet seat!”

... to your Boyfriend ...

I don't care if men like women with a snake figure - a pizza is much hotter than such a superficial lackey!

... Jokes ...

Do you want to hear a joke about Alzheimers?
Do you want to hear a joke about Alzheimers?

... Jokes ...

What do you call a camel with three humps?
Humphrey

... Jokes ...

Our kid is always saying, “I want to be Batman!” or “I wanna be Spider-Man!”
So we dropped him off at the orphanage.

... Jokes ...

my wife kept having a go at me for not putting toilet seat down
so I leave it down piss gets on the toilet seat and she still anit happy cant win

... Jokes ...

Why is there only one Yogi Bear?
Because when they tried to create a second one, they made a Boo-Boo.

... Jokes ...

What is Homer Simpson’s favorite animal?
A doh

... Jokes ...

What do you call a green pasta?
Lingreene

... Jokes ...

At the pharmacy
Man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist where he can find the Viagra. The pharmacists tells him he needs a prescription to buy it. The man smiles and says, - “Bullshit, I have $100 in my pocket that says I don’t need one.” The pharmacist looks left and right to be sure they were out of earshot, then replies, - “ how many do you need?” Th man says, - “I have 2 twenty year old French escorts spending the weekend with me. I figure I’ll need about 10.” The pharmacist concludes the transaction and wishes the man a great weekend. The following Monday morning the pharmacist looks up and notices the same man rummaging through the shelves. Eager to be of assistance, he says, - “Morning ….How can I help you today?” The man moans and says, - “I’m really hurting….I need a large tube of Ben Gay.” The pharmacist says, - "Ben Gay!!!???. Hell, you can’t put Ben Gay on that thing!!!” - “What thing???? Its for my wrist….The two women never showed up!!”