Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Did you hear about the International women’s day sale on steam?
Everything was 70 cents on the dollar.
I was so confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They blessed the rains down in Africa.
... at a Date ...I visited a psychic the other day and stole her crystal ball
She should’ve seen it coming…
A young girl asks her father, “Daddy what does the word ‘corruption’ mean?”
- “Bring me a beer and I’ll tell you.”
- “But mummy says you shouldn’t drink!”
- “Get a nice ice cream as well while you bring me beer.”
- “Oh, okay!”
Reading The Writing On The Wall...
I used to spend long hours working on my "rubbing-up-against-strangers-in-public" technique...
...until I got my *new* pair of glasses and re-read that motivational poster on the break-room wall.
So, my bad... it turns out it does *not* say : "Practice Makes Pervert"
No one knows the first and middle name of the famous poet T.S. Eliot.
It’s Top Secret.
What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere?
A refrigerator.
What kind of office, will sell you? They’re windows and office.
Microsoft Office
Sometimes I feel like a failure, then
then I met you. Now, I am happy.
A little girl visits her grandpa in the hospital
The little girl runs in sayin, “grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog! Make a noise like a frog!
The grandpa says, “why sweetie?”
The little girl starts begging, “please, please, please, make a noise like a frog grandpa. Please!”
This goes on for a few minuets, then her mother walks in and sees this.
Finally the grandpa goes, “why do you want me to make a frog noise sweetie?”
The little girl says, “mama says as soon as you croak we’re going to Disneyland!”