Things better not to say - random entries

Are you VERY sure you`re not gay?

What did Ryu say when Chun-Li asked if she could borrow ten bucks?
SURE YOU CAN!

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
Because he was out standing in his field.

What do you call soldiers under water?
Submarines.

I like Hoffenheim! Tradition beats trend

Every time I’m having a microwave meal, I turn on the movie “The Golden Eye”.
The instructions say —Pierce film before cooking.

What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!

What does a blonde say when she sees a banana peel lying on the street five meters in front of her? – "Shit, I`m about to fall down again!"

My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol...
He doesn’t drink, it’s just that he’s really bad at crossword puzzles...

I asked a German girl if Germans are afraid of numbers
She said 9

My girlfriend
came to me with a balloon that said, “Will you marry me?” So I popped the question..

a benzo addict walked into the dentistry office
The dentist said “you’re grinding even in your sleep”

A few months ago I lost the retaining clip while replacing a shear pin on my snowblower. I found it today after the snow melted.
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