Things better not to say - random entries
The guys from the team really exaggerated... You`re not THAT good.
I slept with a married woman last night…
It was my wife, we just got married a week ago
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of your pants.
I tried to listen to my new Johann Sebastian Bach vinyl record on my high-end turntable but it kept skipping.
I guess the record was Baroque!
A soldier stepped on a land mine in a field
He should’ve been more mineful of his step.
The patron saint of those annoying group email threads...
​
​
St. Francis of Assisi.
​
​
​
p.s. Go forth and cc no more.
Man goes to a job interview
A man goes to a job interview. The interview is nearing the end and going great when the interviewer asked the man “what do you think your biggest weakness would be?”
Man: “my biggest weakness? Well I guess I’d have to say my honesty.”
Interviewer: “your honesty? I don’t think you being too honest will be a problem around here”
Man: “hey buddy, I don’t give a fuck what you think.”
... Jokes ...
... during Sex ...