Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...So this old man walked up to me…
I was walking home when the old man emerged from the shadows…
‘Sir,’ he said, ’could you please spare me of a meal? I’ve no money, I’ve no job, all I got in this world is a switchblade knife.
Winning an argument with the wife.
I wish I could give my wife a blood transfusion from a fainting goat. Then I could always get the last word in.
BREAKING: Due to inflation, Dollar Tree will be changing it’s name…
…to Tree Dollar.
Two guys are hunting in the forest.
One of them has a heart attack and falls down. The other calls 911 and the dispatcher asks to confirm that the first guy is dead, so the second guy shoots the first and says
“Yep he’s definitely dead”
A grasshopper walks into a bar…
and the bartender says, “Wow, a grasshopper! You know, we have a drink named after you!”
“Really?”, says the grasshopper, “Tom Collins??”
What is the favorite mineral of a weeb who is a body joint fetishist?
Manganese
I just heard about the Dunning-Kruger effect
What a crock! I could have written that paper drunk with a couple mates!
People are shocked that a company fired a woman because of her bad figure.
But in their defense, it was *Figure 2.7: why my boss is an idiot.*
You life depends on the health of your liver.
In other words the length of life is in the liver
What is the best part about having sex with a transvestite?
Reaching around and pretending that it went all the way through