Things better not to say - random entries
... Sayings ...
... Jokes ...What’s the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something.
Dave was a cannibal, and a conceited one at that.
So when he was in a bad car accident, the people of his town weren’t very sympathetic. But when they learned that he died, they softened up a bit. “I didn’t know that his injuries were life threatening,” one of his neighbors said. Another replied that they weren’t. “Well then how did he die?” the first wanted to know.
The second said, “When the doctors told him he was going to lose both of his legs, he asked if he could eat them. Since they were just going to be thrown out, they agreed. Apparently, after he’d eaten one of them and had almost finished the second, he choked and by the time the nurse got to his room it was too late.”
The first neighbor said, “I guess that’s a fitting way to go. He always was full of himself.”
In my day we had Wonder woman
These days you have Wonder if its a woman
There was a serial killer who killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer and never got caught
His name was Jeffrey Smahter
I just took two fiber capsules and a marijuana edible.
I did it for shits and giggles.
I like to go around to construction sites and give out handjobs.
A Jack off all trades.
When a mosquito bites me and gets away I feel like a bank that just got robbed
extra points if someone can figure out how to work "blood bank" into this joke. nobody robs blood banks so...
My wife asked if I wanted to buy some baby cloths
I said but it from China, kids know better about what kids like to wear