Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Why are transgender women so dumb?
Man answer:
Because they cut off their dicks.
Woman answer:
???
Gay answer:
Because they cut off their dicks.
Lesbian answer:
???
Queer answer:
Sorry I don’t even know that this is.
Bisexual answer:
Because they cut off their dicks.
My wife threatened to leave me due to my obsession with Drake
I told her she’d thank me later.
what does captain Kirk have in common with toilet paper?
They both go to Uranus to get the Klingons
I HATE cutting my nails.
Wife: Why?
Husband: Because then it takes even longer to file them.
Wife: I just put mine in a pile.
Balenciaga have released a new marketing campaign.
Featuring Prince Andrew.
What do you call a bunch of dildos on the side of the road?
Ding dong ditch
I wish to die smiling in my sleep like my grandpa
...and not hysterically screaming like his friend in the passenger seat
Two brothers from Mongolia opened up this place selling camel’s milk.
Two brothers from Mongolia opened up this place selling camel’s milk. They brought their own camels, all the way from Mongolia. I was interested, so I paid them a visit.
They happened to be milking the camels when I came in. It wasn’t what I expected. Bilguun cried out, “Jargal, oh my brother Jargal, please, please take this bucket of milk, for it is a precious gift to us and our customers, so I bid you, I beg you, I beseech you, spill not a drop.”
Jargal fell on his knees and beat his breast. He said, “Son of my mother, I will do that for you, Bilguun, as surely as the sun rises in the east.”
Bilguun replied, “Alas and alack, my kinsman, our days on this sweet earth are numbered, as surely as the pages of a book.” At this, they fell into each others’ arms weeping.
I was totally befuddled. I asked, “What on earth is going on?”
Jargal got to his feet, casually brushed off his knees, and pointed to the stalls of camels. “Don’t you know? This is a drama dairy.”
What do you call a robot crab that has fallen into disrepair?
A rustacean.
Your dad is so dumb…
…he won’t let you read Bridget Jone’s Diary because he is an antisemite.