Things better not to say - random entries
... at a dating site ...Hello, I`m a writer and I`m writing a phone book... I`m just missing your number.
... Jokes ...Why can’t Gay people be in wheelchairs …
because you can’t be a fruit & a vegetable.
My wife asked me if I’d seen the cat bowl….
I said I didn’t know he could.
Why does Alex Jones believe The Frogs are being turned gay?
What do you expect when the arc nemesis of the amphibians, The Lizards, are the ones controlling the world!!!
Buttons. Definitely buttons.
A couple shopping for a groom’s tuxedo is asked “would you like buttons or a zipper on the trousers?”
“Buttons”, the soon to be bride replies, “He has I jacket with a zipper and he keeps getting his tie caught in the zipper.”
Here`s my certificate mom.
WATT?! Ne 6 in German? The teacher can`t be serious about that! I practiced with you imma!
... during Sex ...I was doing a calculation on my calculator and accidentally divided instead of multiplying.
Operator error
What do French people call the bit of loose skin on the elbow?
The ouinis
Yo Mama so fat, when she breaks a plate…
It’s usually of the tectonic variety.
The Irish invented whiskey and bagpipes
They forgot to tell the Scots the latter was a joke