Things better not to say - random entries

Daddy, if we kill all bad people will only good people remain?
No, baby. If we kill all bad people only murderers will remain.

A man is basically as faithful as his means

Is buttcheek one word . . .
Or should I spread it apart?

When does a secretary become a permanent fixture ?
When she gets screwed on top of a desk...

Your parents must have been thieves. You stole the most beautiful star in the sky.

What’s grey and not important?
An irrelephant

What does pink panther say when he steps on an ant.
Dead ant, Dead ant, Dead ant, Dead ant, Dead ant, Dead ant, Dead ant, Dead aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant.

We’ve had a breakthrough!
A tortoise makes an appointment with his therapist “How’s everything going?”, she asks him. “Oh, you know, same old… can’t get laid to save my life. My mom’s crazy, she says I’m a shut-in, that I should get out more. But I know these fake turtle bitches are all full of plastic, they even like being choked with straws. Nobody wants a nice tortoise anymore, it’s gone out of vogue!” “I see”, said the therapist, “I think your mother isn’t being entirely rational. You’re not a shut-in. You are an inshell.”

What weapon do sheep like to use while in prison?
A lamb shank

What materials do fruits use for walkways?
Pomegranate

Did you know pigeons explode after sex?
At least the one i fucked did...

Where do you keep the rebellious chicken?
In the coup

Today I learned that Dr. Seuss’ mom was a pioneer in physiotherapy.
Ma Seuss.