Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A Roman walks into a bar,
Sticks two fingers up at the barman and says, "five beers please."
Why do pine trees always get coal for Christmas?
Because they are so knotty. That is seasonally late dad joke.
What was the inventor of the Fleshlight thinking?
If I build it, they will cum.
A man went into a library
**A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.**
**The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”**
What is written on a very successful hacker’s tombstone?
“R”
His IP is well hidden.
A terrified mother called 911
"Help me!" she said. "My son just swallowed a fork!"
The 911 operator told her not to worry and that he would send over an ambulance right away.
"What should I do until it arrives?" the mother asked him.
"Use a spoon"
How many Seconds are in a year?
12!
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
Breeding Material
Women showing off their used pussy and saying they are breeding material is like putting an old, rusty, beat-up car on a new car lot.
Passing of high school friend.
Eddy and I used to get our kicks blowing up stuff and destroying things for fun out of boredom in the small town we grew up in. Eddy really liked to make shapes out of vehicle radio antenas. He and I were in the school parking lot one night of a big football game when he started off bending every one he could find. I seen him cut his hand bending one on a custom van. It got really infected over the next few days, and he died!
Death reported as VD!
Van aerial disease!