Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Facebook marketplace is the best place to get an immediate response to what your selling.
Is it still available?
What's the worst thing you can do when you're driving completely naked and get stopped by the police?
Answer: bend down!
Q: How do you get Donald Trump to shut up?
A: Ask him about his business practices under oath.
What do we want?
Low-flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
*me: Nnnnneeeeeeeeeeoooooooooow!*
What do horses do when they are not eating?
They are horsing around
Made up by my 5 year old daughter…
Did you hear about the Irish gay couple?
William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam.
A dad bod is like a poorly designed website.
The best part is below the fold.
As I was introducing my family to our new neighbors, the guy exclaimed, “Wow! Your wife and daughter look like twins!” I chuckled and said...
“Well, they *were* separated at birth!"
In light of how many pussies pose as cops there, the town has decided to change its name to:
Vulvalde.
Hey baby, you wanna play pilgrim thanksgiving?
That’s where you squat and I gobble!
A sailor goes to the harbormaster.
HM: Can I help you lad?
Sailor: Yes, I am doing laundry but I am out of detergent. Do you might have any?
HM: Sorry lad, I have not. All the boats went out with the tide.