Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Why did Santa get beat up by a teenage girl?
He accidentally put a lump of coal in Greta Thunbergs stocking
The newspaper had a story of two raisins that each cheated on their partners together.
I thought that was odd, but then I realised I was reading about Currant Affairs
Fat
My friend is so fat he has to change the lightbulb in his refrigerator every two weeks
I Want To Go To A Haunted House
But then I remembered homeownership in the 2020s is scary!
A little girl visits her grandpa in the hospital
The little girl runs in sayin, “grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog! Make a noise like a frog!
The grandpa says, “why sweetie?”
The little girl starts begging, “please, please, please, make a noise like a frog grandpa. Please!”
This goes on for a few minuets, then her mother walks in and sees this.
Finally the grandpa goes, “why do you want me to make a frog noise sweetie?”
The little girl says, “mama says as soon as you croak we’re going to Disneyland!”
A grasshopper walks into a bar…
and the bartender says, “Wow, a grasshopper! You know, we have a drink named after you!”
“Really?”, says the grasshopper, “Tom Collins??”
It’s illegal to have sex with minors…
… but God has been fucking me over my entire life.
r/atheism moment r/redditmoment
Is it just me, or is the US Supreme Court getting increasingly brutal?
Ruthless, even.
The erectile dysfunction society held a championship fund-raiser the other week...
...But no one made it past the semi-finals
... at a Date ...If your parents hadn`t met I would be the unhappiest person in the world right now.
What did the girl showed to the tatto artist after getting a tattoo?
Her tit. Because tit for tat.