Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What do you call someone who invites themselves over, unannounced, and wants to work out with you?
A Jehovah Fitness.
Dentists make a living from people with bad teeth.
Why would you use a toothpaste that 9/10 dentist recommend?
If I had a quarter for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...
Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.
Drinking Coors Light is a lot like oral sex.
The first few seconds always taste like piss.
If a single germ can infect over 300 people...
Imagine what a married one could do.
A man applies for a job at the circus
“What can you do?” asks the owner
“Really good bird impressions”
“Sorry we’ve got someone who can already do those already”
“Oh well” said the man sadly, as he flew out out of the tent.
Math
I refer to my ex as the human math book… because she has so many fucking problems.
Why did the lesbian wake up and change her sexual preference
She heard the rooster say a cock a do her too
In the alternate ending of Good Will Hunting...
the therapist, Sean, finds out that Will went out west and tried to steal some land in California along the San Andreas line.
How many Biden supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. His press secretary would just change the definition of “changing a light bulb” and they’d all clap in the dark
My last name is Baker, because my Grandad was a Baker
My last name is Mason because my grandad was a Mason
My last name is Dickinson