Things better not to say - random entries

What does going down on an old woman taste like?
Depends.

Scientist: “This is by far the clearest picture of one of the farthest planets we have ever seen “!!
Doctor: “ U just wait til I should u this 4k video of Ur-anus”!!

They were perfect friends, so they had interesting conversations.
So one of them asked, "If you had three cars, would you give me one?" "Of course, we are friends." "And if you had three houses, would you give me one?" "Of course, we are friends." "And if you had three girlfriends, would you give me one?" "No." "Why not?" "Because I have three girlfriends."

I was in the USA recently
Where I came across an interesting custom. People would shout the slogan of their school "Roll Tide" or just the schools name. So I gotta ask seeing as everyone was shouting it at me; where is Fork University?

My son saw me making bread, and asked for some. So I said:
But its sour though!

What is Jesus’s favorite thing to say on Rocket League?
What a save!

Have you heard of the naked guy who insults people for not being devoted to Buddha?
Talk about the rudest nudist Buddhist

What’s brown and sticky?
One of Richard Gere’s gerbils.

Why did Mr. Lettuce divorce Mrs. Lettuce?
Because she Blue Cheese.

Where Did The 10mm Find The 45?
in Cali bruh! >!Cali-bruh, calibre, caliber.!<

My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is starting to improve

How does the rock pee (another)?
He cracks under pressure.

Why do the KGB thugs always walk around in threes?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals. &#x200B; Edit: Soviet era joke from my grandfather that seems to still have some truth left to it today.