Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...
... at a Date ...Hello, I`m Philipp with a double P
Hi, I`m Franzi with a double D
What?
What?!
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo
I had to put my foot down.
A witch was flying on her broom when she noticed that all the witches she passed were flying on vacuum cleaners.
She thought to herself, "Am I the only one who still drives a stick?"
I failed my biology exam today.
The question was: Name something that is found in cells?
Apparently scousers was the wrong answer.
People say that white folks have no culture
But they invented the most used word in rap music
I was dating this guy who was into BDSM
So I tied him up and left him in the trunk of my car
A farmer was taking a nap under grains and was arrested for perjury
For lying under oats
a guy walks into his office and asks for a raise...
His boss says, ‘what about the raise, plus a company car, a reduction in office hours and 14 more days holiday per year?’
The man is overjoyed and says ‘wow, that’s great, you must be joking!’
The boss replies, ‘I am but you started it’
Dear Santa, I've been good all year... Well, mostly... OK, sometimes... It's okay - I'll buy it myself.
What’s the difference between Spongebob and a Priest?
Spongebob asks if you’re ready first.
A man annoyed from his long nails
"This is getting out of hand" he said while going to clip them.