Things better not to say - random entries

Do you know the best way to keep an air fryer clean?
Dont buy one.

What kind of phones do squids use?
CephaliPods

Is Google male or female?
Female because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions.

How do you measure a blonde`s intelligence? A compressed air knife is stuck in her ear.

Why do divers always jump backwards to enter the water?
Because if they jumped forward they would smash their faces with the boat.

Was forest gump the anti christ?
How was he so lucky?

Where do forklift operators go to drag race?
The quarter aisle

What do marble countertops hate the most?
Being taken for granite.

Prejudices against other nations are just as unnecessary as a lost property office in Poland.

When do you get when you play a post-rock track backwards?
A post-rock track.

Coffee helps against everything. Even against stupid people. You just have to throw the cup with enough momentum.

Endothermic reactions are cool and all.
But I prefer exothermic reactions. They give me a warm fluffy feeling :)

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Blind.