Things better not to say - random entries

What do you call an erratic cat?
Aloof cannon!

What did Master Yoda attribute to keeping his sanity during all those years of solitude?
He said whatever you can do to pass the time anything to make the day-go-ba

I once met a warm & friendly sweet fruit flavoured drink
It was a cordial cordial.

Did you know?
Did you know a snail can be faster then a car for a short time? >!You just gotta throw them before the car starts moving!<

Why did the Russian Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks?
To see the battlefield.

My wife and I are a temperamental couple…
I’ve got a temper and she’s mental.

Today I successfully weighed a rainbow
Turns out it was pretty light

This year, I April fooled my little sister by saying mom had shot herself.
I was so convincing that she only realised I was kidding when she saw mom had hanged herself.

Did you hear about the woman who shaved her legs
and wrecked em?

Imaginary Friend.
I once had an invisible friend from Japan. My mum said it was just my imagine Asian..

The number 8 walks into a therapists office
The number 8 walks into a therapists office and says to the doctor I won’t lie down otherwise we will be here forever

Are you a monoclinic crystal?
Because you show perfect cleavage!

What’s more useless than Stephen Hawkins legs?
His shoes