Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...blonde goes to the doctor office
She is complaining her entire body hurts. The doctor asks her the point to where it hurts. The blonde starts touching all over her body wincing in pain every time. Doctor says "maam its not your body. You have a broken finger".
What’s the difference between having sex with a KFC chicken pot pie vs a McChicken?
About $3
Chicken is chicken amiright?
Thanksgiving
I cummed in the mashed potatoes and put my balls in the potatoes twice times.
... Sayings ...The first beer quenches your thirst. A second cheers me up. After three I don`t give a damn, so I just keep drinking.
Why do cows not own houses?
Because the farmers milk them dry and they can’t afford to pay the Mooooooortgage.
Did you hear about the dyslexic girl who went to the gyne for an IUD?
The gyne numbed her up with alcohol and she ended up with a DUI.
I started to consider how to make ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ a reality.
But it was just a Meateor Theory.
What’s the difference between Spongebob and a Priest?
Spongebob asks if you’re ready first.
I have this problem with flying boats in my house...
...sails go through the roof
A friend walks up to you
"Bro, if I banged your mom, would we be enemie? " You says no, so he asks, "would we be friends then? " he says excitedly. Again, you say no.
Confused, he asks " then what? "
"Even"
I was going to make love to my wife
So I went to apply lube. But instead of lube, I accidentally applied industrial glue.