Things better not to say - random entries

I invented a new word!
its called plagiarism

Brave is he who has diarrhea and still farts!

You have three small cups of soda and 20 ice cubes? How do you put an odd number of ice cubes into each cup of soda using all 20 ice cubes.
1 cube in the first cup, 1 cube in the second, and 18 in the third; because 18 is an odd number of ice cubes to put into a small cup of soda.

I forgot to check if my ketchup bottle’s cap was tightened…spilled everywhere.
Ah well, Heinz sight is 20/20.

John Fetterman
John Fetterman looks like the type of guy to fight someone over a parking spot at Dunkin Donuts.

Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors?
So the drivers could see the battlefield.

Yo momma so fat
When she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her

Is this burger also available as a delicious one or does it always taste so crappy?

As an immigration officer, I may not always agree with you.
But..I know where you are coming from.

The one where Einstein switched places with his driver.
Am I doing this right?

(NSFW) What do perverts use to clean?
Vacum

This costume would look extremely pretty on my bedroom floor.

I slept with a woman last night...
her bed was broken so I let her use mine you perverts