Things better not to say - random entries

Did you hear about the guy who got fired from Goodyear ?
He was sleeping on the job because he was tired ......

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie
on a unicycle

What did the Indian boy say to his mom when he left for school?
Bombay! Oops, i mean, Mumbai…

5 girlfriends meet and have nothing to talk about... because everyone is there.

who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither, they just eat out.

My credit was stolen once, 2 grand was spent in the space of a week!
I didn’t report it though as the thief was spending less than my wife was.

So anyone who says the best thing about sex is the cigarette afterwards is doing something wrong. I mean who can hold a cigarette after good sex?

What do you call a blind fascist?
A Not-See

How does a cat pay for stuff
With its purrs.

What do you call the useless skin around the vagina?
A woman.

swimmimg regularly is great for exercise
The trick is to swim like a dolphin - playfully but with a sense of porpoise.

Robert Kearns, inventor of intermittent windshield wipers, has died
At his funeral, the family spoke movingly about his life and achievements. The audience didn't have a dry eye. Then there was. Then there wasn't.