Things better not to say - random entries

New rumors about Will Smith at the Oscar night.
Friends of the family claims that he was so drunk he ended having sex with his own wife.

Balenciaga have released a new marketing campaign.
Featuring Prince Andrew.

Putin and two Russian generals are sitting in the Russian presidential aircraft
Putin gets bored and suggests to play a game to kill some time. Each of them will throw something from the plane and later they will go to check what happened on the ground. The first general pulls a Zippo lighter from his pocket, throws it out the window and says "someone will cry because of this" The second general asks one of the soldiers for his Kalashnikov, throws it out the window and says "someone will be crushed by this" Putin opens a cabinet next to his seat, pulls out a hand grenade, throws it out the window and says "Someone will be blown away by this" Some time later, they get off the plane and and next to them they see a girl crying, so they ask her what happened? "A lighter fell on my head from the sky and it really hurts!" she answers They continue walking and see a boy crying, so they ask him what happened? "A gun fell on dad from the sky and he died!" answers the kid Feeling a bit uncomfortable they move on and then they see a boy lauughing his head off, so they ask him what happened. The boy answers them: "I farted and the whole house exploded!"

What do you call the the Head of the Washington D.C. Financial Ethics Board?
>!They would be the Capitol Capital Principle Principal!<

My dick is like life.. Life is hard
Life is also short

Skillet time? a boy around 13 age said in Disney’s land
He thought and said “maybe I like skillets for the way I do because I am pansecual”? A question for many ages….or THE ages? That’s where I want a solution! Millenniums think they know it all

What did the female reindeers do when their boyfriends were off of Santa delivering presents on Christmas Eve?
They went to the nearest pub and blew a few bucks.

EA SPORTS.. Its in the game!
You read that in the voice, didn’t you?

wrong tracks
An inexperienced hunter was following some tracks deep in the jungle he had nvr seen an animal with such tracks,he followed the tracks for a couple of meters............................................................................... Then he got run over by a train

jogging
Did you know that the jogging network is running a marathon?

What do you call the nurse who’s knees are always dirty when she leaves the doctors private office?
Head nurse.

Why did Aaron Paul do such a good job portraying Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad?
Because he’s a meth-head actor.

My 3 Fevorite Things are:
Eating My Cats and Not Using Commas