Things better not to say - random entries

I heard Marvel was making a movie about Chadwick Bozeman’s wife
I wonder what they are going to call it since Black Widow is already taken?

Why did the blonde put her underwear in the fridge?
She thought she had to refrigerate Fruit Of The Looms.

Harry the hair lip needs a job, but the problem is that he has Tourette’s.
Harry and 3 other people (Bob, Dylan, and Dave)decided to sell tooth brushes. The first week passes and Bob asks Dave how many toothbrushes he sold. Dave replies “ well I sold 400 toothbrushes” Bob says “Wow! That’s great” Bob turns to Dylan and asks how many toothbrushes he sold. Dylan replies “ I sold 500 toothbrushes” Bob replies “Wow! That’s amazing!” Bob turns to Harry and asks “ Well Harry, how many toothbrushes did you sell?” Harry replies “ Fuck you! Fuck toothbrushes! Fucking Shit” Bob replies “Okay, Okay, Calm down, try again next week.” Well next came and went and Bob asks Dave how many toothbrushes he sold. Dave replies “ Boss I sold 700 toothbrushes” Bob says “Wow! That’s a lot more than last week, that’s great!” Bob turns to Dylan asks the same question. Dylan reply’s “boss I sold 800 toothbrushes” Bob replies “Wow that is great” Bob turns to Harry and asks the same question. Harry replies “Fuck you! You Fucking Cunt! Shit Fucking Bitch” Bob says “Calm down, try again next week, maybe you need a gimmick” Harry replies “ Fuck you! Fucking Gimmick! Fuck this shit” Next week rolls by and Dylan and Bob are neck and neck, both are close to 1000. And Bob asks Harry how many toothbrushes he sold. Harry replies “ I sold 143,433 fucking toothbrushes “ Bob appalled by this and asks “How?” Harry replies “ Well I went to the fucking bar, and everyone knows me at that fucking shit bar. So when I walked through the fucking door, everyone yells “Hey it’s Harry!” So I fucking sit down and someone yells ‘Hey Harry’, I go ‘what the fuck!’ They say ‘can we get some fucking chips?!’ So I pass around some chips. Some one yells ‘can we get some fucking dip?’. So I pass around the fucking dip. After a couple of minutes someone yells ‘Hey this dip tastes like fucking shit!’ So I reply ‘Do you wanna buy a fucking toothbrush?!”’

Q: Why did Ariel wear seashells?
A: She outgrew her B shells.

Did you hear about the guy who refused to talk to people who have less than 10 toes?
It’s because he’s lack toes intolerant.

why did the redditor smash their computer up
Because the jokes on r/jokes are always awful and suck ass

How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?
She fits in your wife’s clothes

what do you call your straight female sibling?
sis

What did the T.Rex say to Jesus while he was tending his flock?
Shepard

If your tool breaks, you should go home, boss! Did you just throw down your laptop?

Why are so many doctors Jewish?
Because their mothers are.

You are a bunny that not only raises my ears.

What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere?
A refrigerator.