Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I meet a bishop at Good Friday mass today, but I’m a little suspicious.
He wasn’t moving diagonally.
One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Claus wrote him back, “OK, please send me your mother.”
three newly wed friends go to honeymoon at the same hotel
They decide to tell each other how to they spent their first night with their wives at breakfast
"But our wives would come with us, how about we do it in a subtle way" said one of them
So they decided to use "slice of bread" as a code word
Next day they all gather with their wives for breakfast and the waiter came to take their orders
"I would like three slices of bread with my breakfast " said one of them while smiling
"Five slice of bread please" said the other proudly
"With my order I want seven... yes seven slices of bread " said the third friend
"... Oh can I have two of them burned on the back side?!" he shouted to the waiter as left the table
What did the 12 year old hillbilly girl say when she lost her virginity?
Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my smokes.
I want to go into the cannabis industry with a buddy.
We’ll start a joint venture.
Did you hear about a guy who lost his shipment of wool when he saw a UFO?
No one believed his multiple yarns.
A dad and a child are in a car.
“Dad what’s a drunken?” asks the child
“You see those two cars in front of us?” the dad asks, “a drunken would see four”
“but daddy” says the child, “there’s only one car in front of us”
Why german people pronounce thanks as danke
Because they are dank and like tank
Our soccer team is so bad that our opponents hit the bar three times in the first half of today’s match.
They could have at least waited till the end to celebrate.
What did H.P. Lovecraft say when he saw your penis ?
He was able to fully and clearly comprehend it, understand it and describe it.