Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wiped his bum.
What is the difference between a subway sandwich and a whore
Both could be avoided if your wife did her damn job
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker??
Paul Walker hit 100 before he died.
A girl I was dating told me she liked to be peed on
I said, “I’m not sure about all that but you’ll love what I left on the toilet seat!”
... to your Boyfriend ...I don't care if men like women with a snake figure - a pizza is much hotter than such a superficial lackey!
Do you want to hear a joke about Alzheimers?
Do you want to hear a joke about Alzheimers?
Our kid is always saying, “I want to be Batman!” or “I wanna be Spider-Man!”
So we dropped him off at the orphanage.
my wife kept having a go at me for not putting toilet seat down
so I leave it down piss gets on the toilet seat and she still anit happy cant win
Why is there only one Yogi Bear?
Because when they tried to create a second one, they made a Boo-Boo.
At the pharmacy
Man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist where he can find the Viagra.
The pharmacists tells him he needs a prescription to buy it.
The man smiles and says,
- “Bullshit, I have $100 in my pocket that says I don’t need one.”
The pharmacist looks left and right to be sure they were out of earshot, then replies,
- “ how many do you need?”
Th man says,
- “I have 2 twenty year old French escorts spending the weekend with me. I figure I’ll need about 10.”
The pharmacist concludes the transaction and wishes the man a great weekend.
The following Monday morning the pharmacist looks up and notices the same man rummaging through the shelves.
Eager to be of assistance, he says,
- “Morning ….How can I help you today?”
The man moans and says,
- “I’m really hurting….I need a large tube of Ben Gay.”
The pharmacist says,
- "Ben Gay!!!???. Hell, you can’t put Ben Gay on that thing!!!”
- “What thing???? Its for my wrist….The two women never showed up!!”