Hush

Things better not to say - random entries

... Jokes ...

What does the Australian Chess Grandmaster call his opponent from Prague?
Czech mate

... Jokes ...

From a 10year old: What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaaaaaay

... Jokes ...

The shopping mall has a piano with a sign saying “feel free to tinkle on our ivories.”
So I pissed all over the keyboard.

... Jokes ...

“What do you call a line for a Vietnamese restaurant in London?”
“Pho queue.” “Well, fuck you too!”

... Jokes ...

It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.

... Jokes ...

A statistics joke...
Three statisticians go deer hunting with bows. They see a giant buck in the woods. Statistician #1 fires his arrow--it goes 10 yards to the left. Statistician #2 fires his arrow--it goes 10 yards to the right. Statistician #3 throws down his bow and yells, "We got it!"

... Jokes ...

What did the wife say to the husband when they were arguing during dinner?
"I have a lot on my plate right now"

... to Officials ...

"Is your work actually difficult?" an official is asked.

"No," he admits, "but it`s a disruptive factor between cures, follow-up cures, holidays, public holidays, weekends, company outings..."

... Jokes ...

One Karen Said: GET OUT OF MY YARD
I said my yard my property (its a dad joke)

... Jokes ...

My landlord wants to talk to me about why my heating bill is so high.
I told him my door is always open.

... Jokes ...

Through Ice Age I learned that you can break the ice
by hitting with your acorn

... Jokes ...

I wonder how short shorts feel about being called short..
I bet they feel minimized

... Jokes ...

Handicapped
But what if you lose your legs? Legcapped.