Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Why would you say “aye aye, captain” if your captain has an eye patch?
Shouldn’t it be “aye?”
... Sayings ...My husband keeps telling everyone he meets that I am overcaffeinated and clumsy.
Tea was spilled.
Yesterday I wanted to cook with wine... after the 5th glass I didn`t even know what I wanted in the kitchen anymore.
... to the Police ...Someone just robbed the local wig store...
Police are combing the area.
... during apartment viewing ..."Really nice here! I`ll take the apartment!"
"We`re on a brewery tour."
"I take her!"
... to Blondes ...Telephone conversation between two blond friends: “Nina, introduce yourself. I recently watched an ad on Pro7. Suddenly a film runs in between. There are things, aren`t there?"
I went to a boring haunted house last night.
Nothing really jumped out at me.
A man with a penguin standing on his head goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "What seems to be the trouble, sir?"
The penguin replies, "Well doc, it started as a growth on my foot.
... during Sex ...Jesus said to his disciples, don`t fuck young things. Let them grow and thrive until they cry for cock themselves.