Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...
... during Sex ...They say rubbing alcohol fixes outside wounds, so what fixes inside wounds?
Drinking alcohol!
Grandpa asks Lil Kyle
At the family get-together grandpa askd little Kyle what he wants to achieve once he is grown up
"I want a house with no form of running water!"
Well, thats a bit weird grandpa thinks, but lets ask him why.
"i want to become filthy rich"
A large and powerful kingdom conquered their wealthy neighbor only to discover its treasure was all hidden away.
Only the count from the conquered kingdom knew where the gold was hidden but he refused to tell.
The conquerors took him to the dungeon, placed his head on the chopping block, and told him:
“This is your last chance! Tell us where the gold is or off comes your head!”
Beads of sweat slithered down the count’s face but still he said nothing. The captain gave the signal, and the executioner brought his hatchet down, but just as he did, the count’s courage broke and he blurted out: “No! Wait! I’ll tell you where gold’s hid-“
But it was too late. The axe came down, off came the head, and no one got the gold.
The moral of the story is: “Don’t hatchet your count before he chickens.”
wanna know what happens when you give a politician viagra?
He gets taller
... to your Boyfriend ...My girlfriend got a totally sweet, trusting, nice and housebroken puppy. Unfortunately her husband is allergic and has to go now: Bernd 37 years, 87 kg
What did Chad Kroeger say when he read a paper?
"Look at this paragraph..."
swimmimg regularly is great for exercise
The trick is to swim like a dolphin - playfully but with a sense of porpoise.
One day, a bus driver sees a nazi waiting at the stop
The driver pulls up and says
“I can’t let you on looking like that! Is this some kind of joke?”
The nazi replies
“zis is no joke, it said on the timetable that this bus is due”