Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Went to the psychiatrist today…
She told me I have a split personality and charged me $150.
I gave her $75, and told her she can get the rest from the other idiot!
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road and a woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, "PIG."
The man immediately leans out of his window and yells, "BITCH."
They continue on their way then. As the man rounds a bend, he suddenly crashes into a pig standing in the middle of the road.
How are Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump similar?
They both made fortunes just by playing with orange balls.
A woman in Florida was arrested after her 3 dogs died from being left in her car while she ate lunch.
The report said that her lunch consisted of 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 3 hotdogs.
You know, people tell me organ meat is offal...
But personally I think German meats are the wurst.
I am going to meet my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad is a policeman. She ask me to bring something to impress her dad.
So I brought in 2 suspects
If your uncle Jack helped you off a horse….
In return, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Gay parents...
... must be a rollercoaster.
You either get twice the dad jokes or a constant loop of, " go ask your mother"
How did the Swedes lose a nuclear war to the Russians?
Their nukes took to long to assemble.
I thought a thought, but the thought I thought I thought I thought
was not the thought I thought I thought.