Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I used to be a lifeguard at a public pool....
Until this blue kid got me fired.
what is long, has a slanted tip, and pours fluid when in use?
A pen is.
... Sayings ...The first beer quenches your thirst. A second cheers me up. After three I don`t give a damn, so I just keep drinking.
I recently came across a big sum of money.
That´s the reason I got fired from the Bank.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair."
Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
WiFi password is Romeamsterdamparis all one word
Any capitals?
Yeah, three.
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy hares for $10 each...
The villagers, seeing that there were many hares around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching hares again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of hares became so little that it was an effort to even see a hare, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy hares at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; "Look at all these hares in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers beat up the assistant because they had learnt their lesson last time.
This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire...
When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
A joke one of my 8/yo students told me today…
What’s the opposite of school?
…online school!
[First Date] Her: I’m usually attracted to men with power.
Me: That’s great, I always pay my electric bill on time.