Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Do you know why Fortnite added the "Thank the bus driver" feature?
They had to dedicate something to Rosa Parks
Why was the lumberjack scared of church?
Because the preacher called everyone “prey for a saw”.
My friend always introduces his job to girls at bar as : "I hunt bloodsucking vampires for a living."
He works at pest control.
Every year I get my daughter a bouncy castle for her birthday party.
This year I notices that the prices had almost doubled from this time last year.
I asked the guy behind the counter why they cost so much.
He told me “that’s just the price of inflation unfortunately”
An obese man in Islam gets an injection
In other words, he got a flu jab in the Jew flab.
Jacob’s been struggling with constipation this entire week.
Today too, he tried pooping. But once again when he looked into the toilet, there was Jack shit.
My Dr. gave me some antibiotics
I told him I’ve been taking them everyday at 6pm. He asks “why? I told you to take them at 9am”.
“To surprise the bacteria” I replied.
Regretting the compliment...
A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
A man is driving his care and it breaks in front of a Buddhist monastery
He goes inside and asks for a place to spend the night. The oldest monk in the monastery gives him a room, but warns him:
“If you try to start something with my wife, you will have to face the three ultimate forms of torture.”
The man agrees, but when he sees the wife, he is stunned.
In the middle of the night, he wakes her up, and they get to business.
In the morning, he wakes up with a huge rock placed on his chest, with a note saying.
“The first ultimate form of torture. A rock on your chest.”
The man doesn’t think about it much and throws the rock out of a window.
But then, he sees a second note.
“The second ultimate form of torture: your left testicle attached to the rock.”
The man panics, sees that he can’t catch the rock, and jumps out of the window. Then he sees the third note on the outer wall:
“The third ultimate form of torture: your right testicle attached to the bed.
What do you call the YouTube channel of a werewolf who works on submarines to stay out of the way of full moons and copies all the documents for the captain?
Lycan sub scribe
What did Billy-Sue say when asked by a social worker what her husband Billy-Bob did for a living?
Beats me.