Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A man is arrested for dog-fighting
In the interrogation room, the officer demands an explanation; “What do you have to say for yourself?!”
The man answers “what can I say, it’s a dog eat dog world…”
My friend’s hot mom had a nervous breakdown
It was a serious milfunction
It was a peaceful Sunday morning
A husband is walking with his wife on the sidewalk when he sees a dude whom he had a lifelong grudge with.
The dude immediately goes hostile upon seeing the husband and is clearly looking for a fight.
The wife gently tells her husband to attack him mentally, ending the fight before it even begins
The husband listens and nods in agreement. When the hostile person gets close, the husband immediately punches him in the chin, knocking him out immediately.
The wife looks at him quizzically. The husband responds "attacked him mentally"
As a commercial livestock hauler, my main responsibility is transporting donkeys.
My clients..have their asses handed to them.
Casting for classical pianists
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Val Kilmer and Sylvester Stallone are acting in a movie about the lives of classical pianists
Val says “I’ll be Chopin”
Sylvester says “I’ll be Mozart”
Arnold says “I’ll be Bach”
I was gonna post an Alzheimer’s joke
but I can’t remember the punchline
John Fetterman
John Fetterman looks like the type of guy to fight someone over a parking spot at Dunkin Donuts.
For breakfast, lunch and dinner I eat copies of Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger and Secret of Mana
You could say I eat three square meals a day
... to your Girlfriend ...Do you have time right now?
No, I am checking important documents
You`re just lazy in bed?!
A mattress is an important base