Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A mother walks in on her daughter…
having sex with her boyfriend.
The mother exclaims, “Well, I never!”
The daughter replies, “Mother, you must’ve!”
An old Italian woman
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $150 an ounce!"
The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly tuns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $175 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she bends over, looks both beautiful women in the eye and farts......."Broccoli Rabe .49 cents a pound."
Crossing Jokes
What do you get when you cross a spider and a human joint?
An Arackneed
“What do you call a line for a Vietnamese restaurant in London?”
“Pho queue.”
“Well, fuck you too!”
... to Blondes ...A blonde hit a stranger`s car. He screams angrily: "Have you even taken a driving test?" The blonde yells back: "Yes! And certainly more often than you!”
My grandmother and I were really close when she died
We had to be so I could hold the pillow down over her face
... Sayings ...I always like to end my letter to Santa with a Ps.
Sadly it’s been so many years and I still haven’t received one.
How do you test if your trans roommate is really a woman?
Leave the toilet seat up.
(We had the talk after she had no reaction.)