Things better not to say - random entries
... to Blondes ...Why don`t blondes need an umbrella? Because the path from the bedroom to the kitchen is covered!
... Jokes ...If you think your kids are kind…
don’t forget that German kids are always kinder.
Queen Elizabeth
After meeting HM Queen Elizabeth II on Tuesday, new Prime Minister Liz Truss has returned the bottle of Novichok to the evidence room in Salisbury police station.
... at a Date ...I just finished listening to a country album backwards.
I got my dog, my truck, and my wife back.
What is honey without the bees?
Still honey you idiot there’s no bees in the word you fucking idiot *(starts laughing hysterically)*
What do you call it when you sexually tease a women who doesn’t shave?
Beating around the bush.
Why is reverse cowgirl not allowed in Alabama?
Because you never turn your back on family.
Yo mama so dumb, the only test she got an A on was her blood test
...and even then, it was an A minus!
A women pregnant with triplets gets caught in the middle of a shootout
And is shot three times in the stomach. She gets rushed to hospital and the doctors check her out. They tell her that each of the bullets has hit one of the babies but in a way that they will survive with no permanent damage. After the babies are born the women decides not to tell her three children about what has happened in case it scares them until one day years later one of her daughters comes to her crying and says mom I went to the toilet and a bullet came out. The mom says it’s ok and tells her the story of how she was shot but says don’t tell your brother and sister. About a year later the other sister comes to her mum crying and tells her a bullet came out when she went to the toilet so the mom sits her down and explains the story to her too. A couple of years later her son walks out to her crying and the mom says sit down son it’s ok I assume you went to the toilet and a bullet came out. The son looks up at her and says no mom I was having a wank and I shot the dog.