The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Why was the doctor always calm?

Because he had a lot of patients!

T-shirt is actually short for "tyrannosaurus shirt"

Because of the short arms.

What does a deaf gynecologist do?

They read lips.

Imagine if your cell phone battery was on ten percent and it lasted for eight days..

Congratulations. You understand Hanukkah.

Why is the vagina located so close to the anus?

Because it was designed by city council. Who else would put a play area so close to a dumping ground?

Academic Failure

He was so bad at school that he even failed in recess

A survival expert gets asked a question

Person: If i’m stranded in the wild and have no water, should I drink my own pee? Survival expert: yep absolutely. Now lets talk protein

Last night I had a date with a dyslexic hooker...

She offered to cook my socks for $50.

What do you call a bro who is mean?

Bromine...

Why did Hitler create the Nazi Party?

Because it was Fascionable at the time

Why is the free chewing gum on the bus ...

always hidden under the seats?

Did you know the Golden Gate Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge have twitter accounts?

They are both suspended.

What’s a stormtrooper’s favourite store?

The one right next to the Target