The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
I decided to kill off a few characters in this book I am writing.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
A very practical idea
During an economic recession, a car mechanic is going bankrupt. Suddenly, he comes up with an idea to earn some more money. He puts a sign outside his workshop that says “Curing any illness - 200$. If we can’t, we will give you 1000$ back!”. A doctor walks by and decides to get some money from him easily. He walks in, hands the mechanic 200 bucks and says: -I have lost my sense of taste. Whatever I eat, it all tastes like nothing to me! -Nurse, medicine number 19, please! His assistant brings the patient a cup of some liquid and asks them to drink it. After drinking one sip, the doctor spits it out and screams: -Ew, that’s gasoline! Why did you give it to me? -Great, your sense of taste is back! Have a nice day! The doctor is angry, but he decides to come up with a better “illness” and come back again. The next day he shows up, gives the money to the mechanic and says: -I’ve lost my memory. I don’t remember recent events, please help me! -Nurse, medicine number 19, please! -I won’t drink that again, that’s gasoline! -Looks like your memory is back! Have a good day! The doctor is furious, but he still decides to come back and try again. The next day, he walks in wearing shades and holding a walking stick and throws the 200$ in the general direction of the mechanic. -I’ve gone blind, I can’t see absolutely anything! Can you cure my blindness? -Unfortunately, we do not have the technology and experience to cure blindness. Here’s your thousand bucks. -Hey, those are just ten 1$ bills! -Looks like your vision is back! Have a wonderful day!
Qatar is one of those places were they hide their women
So men can walk around in a dress without being judged
One day an airplane pilot decided he wanted to be a baseball star, so he went to talk to a coach…
The coach asks him “can you pitch?”, the pilot replies “yaw”.
Imaginary Friend.
I once had an invisible friend from Japan. My mum said it was just my imagine Asian..
Three people die; a doctor, school teacher, and the head of a large insurance company.
When met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the doctor, "what did you do on Earth?" The doctor replied, "I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free." St. Peter told the Doctor, "You may go in." St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, "I taught educationally challenged children." St. Peter then told her "You may go in." St. Peter asked the third man, "What did you do?" The man hung his head and replied, "I ran a large insurance company." To which St. Peter replied, "You may go in, but you can only stay 3 days."
Why do college boys prefer pornstars over their next door neighbor?
Pros before hoes.