The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A man craved chinese food.
He gets on the phone and calls the closest chinese restaurant, which boasts food deliveries in under 2 minutes. And indeed, the next minute, it begins raining cats and dogs.
NSFW: I asked a group of prostitutes if they would donate their services to my charity.
None of them gave a fuck.
Guy goes to the doctor bc he has a long penis
So this guy goes to thedoctor bc he has a long penis. Guy: “Doc, I have a long penis and it it it ccauses me to sstutter, is there anything you can do.” Doctor: “yes, I’m sure there is something we can do about it.” The guy under goes surgery and starts living life with an average sized penis, but then he goes back to the doctor. Guy: “hey doc, so my sex life hasn’t been that great since I shorten my penis, is there anyway to get it back?” Doctor says “fffffuck you!”
The polish government are sending a rocket to the sun
they are going to go up at night. My polish friend got really angry at me for this joke so i changed "polish government" to "the idiots" but he still got mad, I... I love Norm
Two Jews meet on the street….
You know people always tell this joke with two Jews. I’m going to change it. Two Japanese guys meet on the street. One says to the other, “So Yitzak, when is your son’s bar mitzvah?”
Black guy comes to a doctor with a frog growing out of his forehead
Doctor asks confussed, how the hell did this happen? And the frog says: "first, there was only a black dot"
An guy in Iran found a flying dildo
He was going to use it to do a flying carpet scam. He was going put the dildo on the and carpet and sit on it But people got tired of it so he had to go to his old job Which has being a geologist so he revealed how he did his scam He proceeded to get stoned
Psychiatrist joke
A psychiatrist comes home from work one day. His wife asks him how his day was. He replies, "Well, my first patient was a guy who got fired from his job. No matter what I said, I couldn`t get the sad look off his face." "My second patient was a guy who`s wife divorced him. No matter what I said, I couldn`t get the sad look off his face." "My third patient was a lady who was so depressed, she jumped out of a third story window naked. She landed feet-down right on a fire hydrant! No matter what I said, I couldn`t get the smile off her face!" When I was in grade 3, our teacher decided we would have Riddle & Joke time every day for 10 minutes before lunch break. This was the very first joke told by a kid in my class.