The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Damn you Food Network, you had me excited for a moment!
Turns out "Beat Bobby Flay" is a *cooking show*. Had me actually interested to tune in for a moment.
Not the Job he had in Mind
A man goes in for an interview which states "Male sex workers needed" He passes the interview and sees his first client, a slender piece of ass named Shakira He gets undressed and upon getting erect, she screams and runs to get HR. Puzzled, he reads the contract again and sees a piece of dirt. Upon rubbing it off, it reads: "6 inches or less is grounds for termination"
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.
More on this after the break.
Did you know that every planet in our solar system is named a god...
Except Earth, which is named after all that stuff on the ground.
How many environmental protesters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to announce to every disgruntled soul in the pitch black room that the lightbulb shall not be changed. And one to sit in front of it.
The object of a Jewish football game is to get the quarterback. What’s the object of a Jewish basketball game?
To get free throws.
The movie had an happy ending, but I was sad
.. they didn’t show it. It was censored.
A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor...
A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.” “Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant. “No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”