The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
What do you call someone getting their biography tattooed on their back?
Their backstory
So a Police officer in Mexico got a call about a train robbery...
He showed up after the suspect fled. After interviewing everyone, he found nothing was taken and was quite perlexted. The man must of had a real loco motive.
Why is r/jokes like history?
Despite knowledge of the past, it keeps repeating itself.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Kevin McCarthy: Hold my beer.
Why did the priest go to JC Penny?
They were promoting a sale. All the boys pants are half off
my wife kept having a go at me for not putting toilet seat down
so I leave it down piss gets on the toilet seat and she still anit happy cant win
As New Years Eve approaches, I encourage all of you to refrain from abusing alcohol.
And remember, neglect *is* a form of abuse.
Dumb
Joke for A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘He comes in here every day and always takes the quarters. That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’
New Year
One day, the director of NASA made an emergency call to the President of USA and said, "Sir, I have good news and bad news." The President said, "Okay, tell me the bad news first." NASA Guy: "Well Sir, we have detected a massive comet heading straight for Earth. It will impact Earth tomorrow evening. There is no way to stop it. The entire planet will be destroyed in an enormous supernova. There will be fire, light, and explosions bigger than anything anyone has ever seen or imagined." President: "So, what is the good news???!" NASA Guy: "Well Sir, tomorrow just happens to be New Year`s Eve!"