Things better not said - our best

Where do dads store all of their jokes?
In the Dadabase

Did you hear about the crow that was organising a party for all his crow friends?
He was arrested for attempted murder

The cast of Friends has reunited to open a DVD shop
A man walks in and says, “My Netflix subscription just ran out. Do you have the latest season of You?” The staff points to a corner of the shop and says, “Aisle B there for You.”

I might have Alzheimer’s
but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s

What do you call a guy who hangs around with a group of musicians?
The drummer.

I saw a dude with one arm drop his phone on the pavement
and I blurted out “DO YOU NEED A HAND?!”

My wife and I are a temperamental couple…
I’ve got a temper and she’s mental.

I told my wife she was pretty and she just yawned.
I guess she was pretty tired.

My local KFC will be celebrating Star Wars day on May 4th with an Anakin special.
It’s an extra crispy chicken with no legs and only one wing.

I identify as a donkey
My pronouns are (he/haw)

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar...
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "But he minded his own fucking business."

How do you make a baker cry?
Murder his family.

I have a joke about pizza
You wouldn’t like it though, it’s too cheesy