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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


What did Princess Leia say to Han Solo on their wedding night?

Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

Why can’t groups of Tyrannosauruses clap together..?

They have no rhythm

Is a female Peacock technically a

Peacunt?

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent

A cob of corn finishes his service in the army and retires

as a Colonel in good standing among his field

Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?

Nebuchadnezzar -- he was on grass for seven years.

My brother said he thinks I’ve been a little demanding with his wife.

I don’t know where he was coming from, but I did tell her she doesn’t have to swallow anymore.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

My wife laughed when I said I still had the body of an 18 year old

Until she checked the freezer

A woman explains to her doctor her recent issues with going to the bathroom.

I’ve had horrible constipation,” she explains. “I haven’t been able to go for weeks.” “Are you doing anything for it?” the doctor asks. “Well, I’ll force myself to sit on the toilet for a half hour in the morning and a half hour before bed.” “No, I meant are you taking anything?” “Oh,” she replies. “Yeah, I usually take a magazine.”

Interesting new Twitter policy

You’re no longer allowed to reference group sex, specifically threesomes. Because reasons.

Whats another name for whiteheads?

Cheezits

Why wouldn’t the midlife crisis battery discharge?

It was trying to keep current.

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