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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

It could happen.

I divided two types of the LGBTQ into two sections...

There was the trans-section, and the bi-section.

Why don’t you give Elsa a ballon?

Because she’ll let it go.

A short, but funny one

A 103 year old man lay dying in his hospital bed and asks his wife “Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father? His wife crying uncontrollably answers “Yes” He asks “Whose is it?” His wife replies “Yours”

I told my wife that I find out every morning how much my poop weighs.

She asked if I weighed myself before and after pooping. I thought for a second and I told her that her way is a lot cleaner than what I have been doing.

Do you want to hear a joke!?

Your life!

A gymnast walks into a bar

The judge says, "Zero points".

I got kicked out of music school for trying to play a guitar with a bow.

They said I violated it.

How to say "hi" in other countries

France has "bonjour." Japan has "konichiwa." Germany has "guten tag." England has "fuck off, yank." China has "nihao."

what is long, has a slanted tip, and pours fluid when in use?

A pen is.

My low tire pressure light came on

I went to the air pump and I was shocked to see it cost $3. I was met by a sign that said, cost due to inflation.

Why do elephants drink?

To forget.

3 egineers in a broken down car

One is a mechanical engineer and he says, "must be the engine we should look under the hood" The other is an electrical engineer he says, "probably a bad starter or dead battery" The third is a computer engineer and he says, "just turn it off and on"

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