The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

How does a turkey start a knock knock joke?

Gobble Gobble.

Why did the shed not break down?

Because it was washed away by the pipe

Why does Alex Jones believe The Frogs are being turned gay?

What do you expect when the arc nemesis of the amphibians, The Lizards, are the ones controlling the world!!!

How do you get a farm girl to like you?

A Tractor

Anne Heche is not expected to survive.

But the posts about it will go on forever.

What did the sailor say during the orgy?[NSFW]

All hands on dick

I asked siri why i am single.

Then it turned the front camera on

Why doesn’t Chuck Norris masturbate?

There’s no higher pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

a snake walks into a bar

The bartender asked him : how tf did you just do that

what is red and smells like blue paint?

..... ..... Red paint

What do you call an American bee?

Joe.

Singular pronouns are overrated, you know what I prefer?

They/them, because I could threaten to sue if I get a ticket at the HOV lane or rejected for a group discount.

judge sentenced three guys to getting their peepees cut off according to their jobs

The first guy was a butcher, so the executioner cut off his peepee with a cleaver The second guy was a lumberjack, so the executioner sawed off his peepee with a saw when the executioner reached for the third, he found him giggling. “You are going to lose your peepee, what’s funny about that?” the executioner asked. The third guy answers “I make candies for a living, you have to suck it till it ends”