The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
The circus near me had a competition to find the best contortionist..
So I entered myself and won ...
Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.
After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying. Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.
What does George Washington have in common with Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter?
They both went to Mount Vernon.
Why did the eye doctor go to the bathroom?
Number 1 or number 2 Number 1 or number 2
Why do walruses love a Tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal. *Giggity*
A Russian millionaire is having wife troubles
He caught his wife cheating. They talked about it and she said she would stop. They decided on a vacation to the Bahamas to rekindle there love. They get on the plane, a private jet, and meet the pilot, named Jordan, they take the flight and get to a hotel. On the first night the millionaire decides to go to the pool alone and when he gets back he hears his name being moaned from the hot tub. On the second night he goes to the hot tub and when he goes to the pool he sees his wife having sex with another man. He is pissed and confused so he decides to take another flight on his jet to bora bora. He goes to the hotel and says “I’ll have floor 1”
When I went to the toilet, I left the door open so I could keep watching the movie.
The other passengers on the plane were slightly irritated.
Have you ever flicked a cigarette out the window and started to smell something funny?
Then you look behind you and your grandmas fingerbanging herself in the back seat.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
Some people say it’s a news paper, I say it’s Spider-Man.