The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?

She fits in your wife’s clothes

at work yesterday

My boss told me to work the bread, then yelled at me.............. for loafing around.

How to be successful without any money?

Become a Harvard philosophy major.

What do you call two boobs that look exactly the same?

Identitties

What do you call a killer goat?

A mèeeeeeederer

You know whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

Having arms and legs.

2 prostitutes standing on a corner.

2 prostitutes standing on the corner and one of them says "we gonna make a lot of money tonight i can smell the dick in the air"...and the second one replied "sorry i burped"

Congratulations to Adele on releasing her new album...

9 and 10 pounds.

Anakin Skywalker and his Student

Anakin invited his Student over to his place "this is my Pad Juan"

I thought my plan would work. It was perfectly calculated.

Unfortunately, I suck at math.

Met a guy who was really interested in what people said when they leave

Told me he was bye-curious.

My Prounous are Kit/Kat

Most people I meet break me off in half.

Whats the difference between a gay man and a freezer

The freezer dosent fatt when you pull the meat out