The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A man wakes up from a coma
Man:what happened?! Friend:you had a heart attack while playing pika-boo Man:where am I? Friend:*sigh* I.C.U.
A man with a costume walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender laughs at him and says “why are you wearing a silly costume?” “No time to talk!” Shouted the man. “I don’t wanna be late to my AA meeting!” The bartender is confused and says “wait, if you attend AA meetings, shouldn’t you not be drinking?” And the man answers “Well, that’s what the costume is for!”
Guy walks into a bar…
Sits down and orders a drink, when suddenly he notices 2 girls sitting in the corner talking to each other, one of them is gorgeous, and the other is fugly. He walks up to the ladies, approaches the ugly one and says “Hey, can I ask you out?” Amazed, the ugly girl replies “Of course, such a gentleman…” “Great! Get the fuck out!”
Being a doctor is so difficult.
You examine hundreds of patients every week and nobody bats an eye. But you get a boner ONCE and everyone goes crazy. I mean can you blame me? You get so close to someone’s body, you get to see and touch everything, how can you NOT get a boner??? I should have never become a pediatrician.
Physical Science founder Issac Newton turned to Theology in his later years. Though his favorite book in the bible was ...
Numbers.
Putin Joke
^([credit to) u/truscottwc^(]) Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior. So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -And Kyiv? -We got that too. Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks: -Thanks, how much do I owe you? -5 euros.
I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass.
After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles. After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass...