The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Once there was a man who told his friend he was traveling across the world.

Once there was a man who told his friend he was traveling across the world. “That’s incredible,” the friend said. “I see you’ve taken your guide dog.” “Indeed,” the man said. “I’m traveling a few miles, so he needs to guide me.” “A few miles?” his friend asked. “Is that really across the world?” “Going in the right direction, it would be thousands of kilometers,” the man said. “I’m taking a shortcut.” “Then why do you want to travel across the world?” his friend asked. “I have an ancestor I want to emulate by bringing joy to everyone along my path,” the man said. “On that note, I have a gift for you.”

Who is the best Pirate actress?

Judy gARRRland.

Willie Nelson has been hospitalized after being struck by a car today.

He was playing on the road again.

what do socks and fruit molesters have in common?

They come in pairs.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie

on a unicycle

who has the House vote: the Ayes or the Nos?

Actually the mouths have it

Apparently it’s no longer OK to urinate in the ocean.

I’m told it’s not pee sea.

True story. When I was 16(m), I had my first H.J. while her parents were driving up front...

I was scared stiff.

What do you call someone who appraises fancy breeds of Siamese fighting fish?

A betta tester.

How was The Rock born?

The Hulk wanted to have a staring contest with Medusa.

Just had an exam on Rainbows.

Past it with flying colors.

What happened when Mary had a little lamb?

The doctor fainted.

How do werewolves make bechamel sauce?

They start with a-rooooooouuuuux