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New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


I tried to tell a joke in the British Museum once...

but the sarcophagus gave me a death stare.

Chuck Norris once heard a butterfly flap its wings in China

He was standing in Texas.

I never know if to like stairs or not…

Sometimes they are definitely up to something, but other times they just love to get down.

Beethoven wrote a manga

Deaf note

What did Ryu (Street Fighter) say when his step dad asked if he could borrow his lawnmower?

Sure you can

Two bank robbers attend a funeral

One robber says to another, “how are you holding up?”

Took my wife to the doctor to find out what’s going on with her??

Took my wife to the doctor to get looked at. The doctor says it could be two things either A) She has aids or B) She has Alzheimer’s. I asked the doctor how easy is it to tell which one she has. He replies take her and drop her off in the woods. If she finds her way back home don’t fuck her

When Chuck Norris goes near a black hole...

The black hole gets sucked in him.

When I told my wife I wanted a man cave, she said she wanted one too

I told her, she already has one. And it echoes too

I went through airport security and the alarm went off

The TSA agent asked if I had any metal on me. I said hell yeah I do, pulled out a Metallica CD and slammed it on the table. I was detained and strip searched but it was worth it.

Why is it called transphobia?

Because some people have an extreme irrational fear of trans.

I have beaten my wife on Saturday and my son on Sunday.

In a game of chess

Which ones do you like more: tits, asses or cocks?

Asking for a friend who has a petting zoo.

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