The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Henry Winkler sits down on an airplane. The flight attendant comes over and ask him if he would like free head phones.

He responds “Sounds great. But it’s pronounced Fonz.”

why did Dorothy get lost in Oz?

She had three men giving her directions.

Snail gets robbed by a tortoise.

Police come and asks the snail “can you tell us what happened?” Snail says I don’t know man it all happened so fast.

I hate jokes about John Denver

They never land well.

Where can you buy a mini soda?

Minnesota

What’s the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?

Answer: The taste.

I tried to eat paper today.

It tasted sharp.

What is the only organ in women that stays warm after death?

My dick

After years of lobbying, a town finally got train service.

A county official noticed an increase in the town’s birth rate and went to investigate. After interviewing a few people he discovered that the explanation is noise from the 5AM express train: At that time it’s too early to get up and too late to go back to sleep…

Two old guys are having a chat in a nursing home, when a naked old woman with a walker crosses very slowly in front of them

First guy says, "Elmer - what the hell was that?" Second guy says, "Joe - I have no idea, but it certainly needed ironing!"

What’s the hardest cult to join?

A difficult.

Why don’t orphans get 5 stars in Grand Theft Auto?

Because they’re not wanted

I was only ever at one gender reveal party

It was fine, but slightly mortifying, as I was the only naked person there…