Things better not said - our best

Need answer cause I genuinely don’t know
What’s red, black and covered in cobwebs?

A man has 4 sons
1st son: Degree in economics 2nd son: MBA 3rd son: PhD 4th son: Thief Neighbor asks: Why can you throw your fourth son out of the house Father: He is the only one earning money, the rest are all unemployed

Buttons. Definitely buttons.
A couple shopping for a groom’s tuxedo is asked “would you like buttons or a zipper on the trousers?” “Buttons”, the soon to be bride replies, “He has I jacket with a zipper and he keeps getting his tie caught in the zipper.”

tracks.
Two guys were walking through the forest and they came upon some tracks. One guy said those are deer track, the other said No! those are rabbit tracks. They followed them along the route to find out exactly what they were. Rabbit Tracks! Deer Tracks! Rabbit Tracks! Deer Tracks! This went on for some time. About a half hour later they were still following the tracks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . They get hit by a train.

I applied for a job at a travel agency and they asked if I spoke Polish.
said, "What kind of polish? Shoe polish. Nail polish? Furniture polish? (Yeah, absolutely awful Dad joke.)

My gay friend asked me what my favorite fruit was
Apparently “you” isn’t the right answer.

What’s Smeagol’s favorite movie?
Precious.

I believe the tornado chasers are the reincarnation of ancient sailors
They both hear the siren and know it’s dangerous, but they just keep going. ——— There was a tornado in my city and then I think of this.

My wife and I agree that any time that your genitals are touching any part of another person, that is cheating.
Other than when the doctor gives you a blow job.

Where do ducks hide their cash?
In their butt-quack

Yo Mama so fat
That the elephant thought it lost weight

Why did the creep take his crush to the bar?
To liquor.

Turns out, the lobby that pushed against Roe vs Wade…
Was Proctologists. They‘ll be in serious demand from now on.