The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

She was only the toolmaker’s daughter.

But she sure gave the boys her awl.

What is it called when you die from a boob

Fatalititty

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

What’s orphan taking a selfie doing?

Taking a family photo.

What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O’Furniture.

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason…

… now I have a reason.

It’s my birthday today and I don’t ask for a whole lot

Just be tied up, gagged and stuffed in a dog cage. Like a normal person. Is that too much to ask??

Why is Ukrainian and Russian politics funny?

One has a comedian for a president, the other has a joke.

I was angry at my friend and he sarcastically asked "what would Jesus do?"

So I flipped over the table and chased him from the building with a whip.

What do binary and djent have in common?

01010100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101101 00101110

NASA said they found water on Mars

Which Makes Mars 1:0 Africa

Have you heard about Don Jon becoming a software developer?

He was having trouble using version control due to his commitment issues.

I’m a big fan of Fraud and have been since I was a child.

He‘s the father of psychology. Who wouldn’t be?