Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Snail gets robbed by a tortoise.
Police come and asks the snail “can you tell us what happened?” Snail says I don’t know man it all happened so fast.
why did Dorothy get lost in Oz?
She had three men giving her directions.
Henry Winkler sits down on an airplane. The flight attendant comes over and ask him if he would like free head phones.
He responds “Sounds great. But it’s pronounced Fonz.”
Bill Clinton gets kicked out of every bakery in Paris.
He constantly feels their pain.
2 people are in a middle of an argument.
"FUCK YOU!"
"err, is that an insult, or a part of your to-do list?"
What did the 9 say to the 10?
I’m really glad you’re here because a 9 next to an 11 would be a real tragedy.
People say horse girls are crazy…
…but I’ve always found them rather stable.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”
“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”